david millard

just a straight-up everyday normal guy.

[david millard @llimard]

This is great!

[Andrew Foote @amkfoote]

Another Ontario brewery’s reaction to buck-a-beer: @dominioncitybc in Ottawa. #onpoli

[Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia]

In my high school you were a Van Damme guy or a Seagal guy. I was a Van Damme guy and I’m glad that history has proven me correct in that assessment.

[Death Star PR @DeathStarPR]

The Jedi hate us saying that they are the Enemy of the People only because they know it’s TRUE. We are providing a great service by explaining this to the Galactic People. They purposely cause great division & distrust. They can also cause War! They are very dangerous & sick!

[david millard @llimard]

"Cycling is a good recreational activity. However, as a mode of transportation, it is barely adequate at best. If done according to the law, it is not an efficient way to travel."
This is absolutely untrue. I've bike commuted for years, follow traffic laws. It is very efficient.

[Ottawa Citizen @OttawaCitizen]

Rose: Cycling 'is not an efficient way to travel' - time to bring back sanity to Ottawa streets https://t.co/YSTKeD5sIx

[Arlene Dickinson @ArleneDickinson]

Ivanka & Melania are women in the shadow of men. They aren’t leaning in or standing up. They are simply there doing what women have been told to do forever. Look good. Say the right things. And do as they are told. This isn’t female leadership/strength. It’s the exact opposite.

[Bryan Donaldson @TheNardvark]

Why reboot ALF when we already have an orange-haired monster who grabs pussy without consent?

[david millard @llimard]

@ian_mendes @TSN1200 1. Yes.
2. High fives

[Dad is Teaching 👨‍🏫 @DadisGrumpy]

Miracle in Costco:

Judgemental lady: Ugh. Are you buying FORMULA so you can drink all that WINE?

*Looks at crying twins, stacks of groceries, and sleep deprived tearful wife*

Me: I...

Random stranger: *to me* I got this, bro. *To her* Go fuck yourself.

#faithrestored

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

IM CONCERNED THAT IF WE SOCIALIZE MEDICINE THE GOVERNMENT WILL STOP INVESTING OUR MONEY IN TRYING TO CREATE A GUN SO BIG IT CAN SHOOT A HOLE THROUGH GOD

[Nathan VanderKlippe @nvanderklippe]

In Xinjiang today, "a block leader system not unlike the old German 'Blockwarts.' Many apartments have bar code labels on the inside of the front door which the official must scan to prove that he or she carried out the visit." https://t.co/Qz6nATNkAM

[Jo Boaler @joboaler]

We are working really hard at youcubed HQ - getting ready to release our new https://t.co/v7KJeLHTcl and 4 weeks of free, visual, creative algebra lessons. Please try them everyone - you will love the student engagement and the brain connection possibilities!

[Steve Warne @SteveWarneMedia]

I may one day grow tired of seeing the highlight of Expos pitcher Dennis Martinez throwing a perfect game. But that day is not today. #27YearsAgoToday

[Ghost Maggie Serota @maggieserota]

People who talk about how history will judge the current administration seem to forget that the guy who lied to start a war has already been rehabilitated as a quirky grandpa cause he likes to paint.

[Ottawa Citizen @OttawaCitizen]

Why your vitamin habit is a pointless waste of money https://t.co/ZJHy0OHxTa

[Kate D @randomly_kate]

Road trip hour 8: I think we live in Drummondville now because I’m never getting back in the car with my kids.

[Kevin Seccia @kevinseccia]

*gives my dog a treat*
“Here you go, you want a treat?!”
*dog looks at it, then starts eating*
“Good girl!”
*damp pill falls out of her mouth onto the floor, she slowly looks up at me*
“I CAN EXPLAIN!”

[NOT A WOLF @SICKOFWOLVES]

ME AND MY FRIENDS LIKE TO TAKE TURNS BRAGGING ABOUT WHICH OF US GOT LESS SLEEP SO THAT WE CAN FEEL BOTH TIRED AND SELF RIGHTEOUS

[Emily Feng 冯哲芸 @EmilyZFeng]

More astonishing numbers from Xinjiang https://t.co/Ne53Y84fUY

[Ottawa Citizen @OttawaCitizen]

Canada has one of the most protected telecom sectors in the world — and the rates to show for it https://t.co/Did59tNh6K

[Kristen @Kica333]

Being famous on social media is like being rich in monopoly.