🕸

mrs. oliveira ✝️🤎

[🕸 @lyssifer]

haven’t felt real joy in 37 days (i’m in a calorie deficit)

[Teresa Sheffield @Terfleaza]

Nobody gives Winne The Pooh any credit for inventing the crop top

[Uchenna. @Favour_Ogazi]

I have been extremely brave about things nobody knows are happening. I have also been extremely dramatic about very minor inconveniences. Balance.

[Pitt Fan 1 @driscoll1142]

This is how liberals think we should handle someone that just murdered one person and stabbed another

[Kevin Sorbo @ksorbs]

So Lindsay Clancy murdered her three children and the jury is on day 4 of deliberations. She murdered her children. Should not be this difficult to come to a verdict.

[Josh or whatever. @SerioJoshehe]

What the fuck is wrong with the world. That woman stabbed two people and killed one and the world is outraged the police shot her dead?

The world is fucked.

[🕸 @lyssifer]

😂😂😂😂😂

[Black Girl @t_sadiity]

nigga gone try to talk to me at the laundromat, me & you don’t have a washer or dryer fuck out my face fr worried about the wrong shit !

[🕸 @lyssifer]

@jaxxfsd hahahahha it absolutely fucken is 😂😂😂

[🕸 @lyssifer]

😂

[Fred Figglehorn @mirbartierr]

When shorty ask u “What did u eat today?” And u gotta lie cuz u ate
12 icecream sandwiches

[🕸 @lyssifer]

my father in law called me sweetheart today and i literally drove home and cried, lol.

bar is set so low when your own dad turns into someone you’d never imagined.

[𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚊𝚣 𝚏𝚒 𝚍𝚎𝚖 ★ @kaeethstallion]

ppl who order a milkshake as a drink with a meal are a different type of BIG.

[ms.poopclapper @oregonstatepoop]

me as a mom:
“honey please put away your shoes before i kill myself, do you want mommy to kill herself?”

[g 🧚🏾‍♀️ 🫐 @edebiriii]

this is gonna sound ridiculous but it didn’t even occur to me that Dolly Parton could die

[yimika. @yimikaaaa]

being a self-aware person doesn't mean i view myself as a good person. i think a lot of people get that confused. it literally means that i am vigilant of both my light and dark side. i have also made peace with my flaws even though i'm always working through them

[𝖐𝖚𝖘𝖍𝖇𝟔𝖗𝖇𝖎𝖊❦™️ @kushb6rbie]

in my room having 4 years worth of thoughts in 5 minutes

[𝖆𝖒𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖆 @l0botomy]

why is dolly parton dead and my coworker is alive

[Buck @Buck36043Buck]

It should’ve been Me not Dolly

[𝐊𝐚𝐫𝐢 @karips26]

Menos mal no tengo dragones, porque sería Dracarys por aquí, Dracarys por allá…

[toad @thelifeoftoad]

No worries you fucking bitch

[🕸 @lyssifer]

😂😂😂

[Toni Childs @Vitaminndeee]

I’m sorry but if the doctor told me I was too big to get a MRI done and had to go to the ZOO of all places because I wont fit in the machine, I would be on a diet and in the gym the next day. Imagine having to be next in line after a rhino for a scan. That’s humiliating.

[Jerms @NotLordJerms]

$8 coffee followed up by a tip screen, i’ll kill everyone in here