scrimmy bingus

@______shaq & @moparks_ • for 50 bucks? i'd put my face in the soup and blow

[scrimmy bingus @madeline_myslow]

i was sending an email about an interview and at the sign off i missed the ‘s’ in best so i sent

Bet,

Madeline

[scrimmy bingus @madeline_myslow]

@nectarsleep TWO different mail carriers have now “lost” my mattress and it’s been a month since i ordered it. what is going on??

[alex @alex_abads]

a fetus has never written anything as good as Rhiannon

[gigi @420insidejob]

me: :(
my cat: brrrrt?
me: :)

[lil jon lovitz(?) @liljonlovitz]

me: you ever feel like human beings are just bottomless pits & we're desperate to fill ourselves in with food, drugs, sex, anything just to momentarily drown out the howl of air rushing into that gaping hole
chilis server: sometimes yea

[scrimmy bingus @madeline_myslow]

thinking about the time at an old internship where a helicopter crashed into the building next to ours and everyone got up to look but when i tried to someone told me to “sit down and finish clips”

[scrimmy bingus @madeline_myslow]

i’m physically incapable of making a normal amount of soup. it’s 2 gallons or nothin

[joe thrashnkill @JoeThrashnkill]

RIP Meat Loaf. You’ll never use siqqq album art to trick children into listening to showtunes again.

[scrimmy bingus @madeline_myslow]

@r_obrien sidecar

[debo @killmefam]

The nissan altima is the worlds fastest car

[rachel coster @rcosterr]

Life is so bad rn I think the only way we can ease our woes is by coming together to rob the union square Sephora

[Marcia Gay Hardened @ZacharyRogerO]

Laura Branigan had some serious beef with Gloria, she gathered her ass right up

[Alex Shephard @alex_shephard]

extremely good boat name

[✨ just jack ✨ @luxurytrash_]

Me working the door at a gay fraternity: Name five Elphaba’s.