charlie spears

level 5780 on candy crush saga

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

just got off the phone with mitch mcconnell. we had phone sex.

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

(Throwing up white foam) My foam !

[ArtButMakeItSports @ArtButSports]

@Complex Petit disque orange (rotated), by František Kupka, 1932

[Victoria Rose @woahhvickyyy]

If you don’t have a plan miami gonna make a plan for you

[Victoria Rose @woahhvickyyy]

People keep saying I look like this lady. What u think?

[Cairo Smith @cairoasmith]

There's a common misconception that Brutalist buildings were unpainted, but thanks to microscopic analysis of the exteriors we can now recreate what they looked like in their prime.

[Adam Sharp @AdamCSharp]

I just watched a pirated movie.
On a scale of 1-10 I’d have to give it 3.14159265359

[proxy𖤐 @pluckedseraphim]

i hate cutting oranges at a bar bc it only gets used once, in a blue moon

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

Jeopardy: It's time for final Jeopardy

Also Jeopardy: See you next time on Jeopardy

[mary @elaine_stritch]

me: yeah I think naming the song “Javert’s Suicide” is a needless spoiler; it should be called “Javert’s Soliloquy” to contrast it with Valjean’s soliloquy in Act I

my boss: I meant “anything else” in terms of this meeting

[theyoungaidult @theyoungaidult]

[First Date]

me: so what are your hobbies?

she: hiking

me: hi queen

[Mike Beauvais @MikeBeauvais]

INTERVIEWER (reading resume): Uh, under "Skills" here you have "Knew who Mrs. Doubtfire was right away."

ME: It was Robin Williams. It was their dad.

INTERVIEWER (whispering to colleague): This is our guy.

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

i am a young urban white i love Trader Joe’s their cheese selection almost makes me forget about my worthless masters degree

[Anthony Bourdain @Bourdain]

Fascinated by Applejack's struggles with sexual identity.

[Jamie @transsexualdyke]

Me: L-O-L. Check this out. Mamdani is totally gaslighting the Orange Man. 😆

My son Marble (Gave him that name so he would come out nonbinary (Not working)): can I go outside today

[👩‍💻 @verynormalfish]

Thinking about this girl I went to high school with whose name is (was?) Brielle Smudge-Fetterman and she had a 15 year old boyfriend named Patrick feather and a month before graduation they put her in jail for statutory rape & We all put #IBELIEVEPATRICKFEATHER on our grad caps

[Mathieu @miniapeur]

Bae’s theorem

[Elizabeth Holmes @ElizabethHolmes]

Throwback to the weirdest demo I gave at Theranos.

[björk @bjork]

Why don't you click, drag and use keyboard arrows on bjork.com?

[💂🏻‍♀️👋🏻вєαя🍻🇬🇧™ @BigBearF1]

Celine Dion has come out in support of farmers by removing all the consonants from her name.