Obadiah

Nightmare human.

[Obadiah @malenipples]

Why have I not seen a photo of President Ford where he doesn't look like there is a robot potentially living inside him? What is the truth?

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ChrisGethard Did you have something to do with this?

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ektoplasm that's fair 💁

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ektoplasm you're disgusting

[First Date Questions @firstdateqs]

what do you think shrek meat tastes like

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ChrisGethard Hey, where did you go to get ordained? I gotta marry some gay people.

[Matt Bellassai @MattBellassai]

websites that make me watch the Ted 2 trailer before viewing their stuff should be charged for a hate crime

[First Date Questions @firstdateqs]

if you were a bird, whose car would you shit on first

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ektoplasm I couldn't find it.

[wint @dril]

my friends, theres nothing i enojy more than a capsule of beer , while tasting beer with other 18-34 year olds, at the beer store

[Obadiah @malenipples]

Hot dogs are the feelings that live inside me.

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@naomicalhoun @MarcStarvaggi Blue (Da Ba Dee) by Eiffel 65 is actually my life except with hot dogs. #hotdogslikehim #insideandoutside

[Obadiah @malenipples]

I just blow-dried my hair and now I look like Bruce Vilanch

[Obadiah @malenipples]

I'm watching Maury with six old people. I think this is the only time I've ever been happy with any of my jobs.

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@kenziboss 10/10 would recommend

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ofctimallen For Richer or Poorer was an A+ movie but it's a little long if you're watching when you're drunk. Please go back & fix that 💕💕💕

[Obadiah @malenipples]

If I ever get older than I am right now, please kill me.

[Obadiah @malenipples]

I'm just one grumpy old person away from a heroin addiction.

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ChrisGethard considering you've shared the painful details of various times you pooped your pants, I don't know if you could manipulate me

[Obadiah @malenipples]

@ChrisGethard @ektoplasm idk dude, cult leaders are mysterious and able to manipulate people.