MK

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rihanna. Warning: I basically only tweet about TV.

[MK @mandicane]

Not Schwartz trying to play cute lil puppy dog at Katie’s dinner until she didn’t give him what he wanted. Then he played the victim and insulted her like usual. Cannot stand this “man.” #VPR #PumpRules

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[𝕭𝖆𝖒 𝕾𝖚𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖓 @BamSullivan]

Can't raise minimum wage because it will kill jobs.

Can't raise taxes on the bourgeoisie class because it will kill jobs.

Can't ditch oil because it will kill jobs.

But when these companies replace 50% of their workforce with AI, it's "sorry, that's just the way it goes."

[MK @mandicane]

LISTEN TO THIS TRACK, BITCH

[Genius @Genius]

what’s the greatest opening line to a song?

[lo♀ @radphlegm]

Notice how men are just treating this as a joke instead of crying about how false accusations ruin lives

[Pootie Guiliani @Kyla_Lacey]

“Women need to submit” - a man who let another man paddle him in order to gain friends in college

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

I’m not proud of it but if Forrest Gump started talking to me on a bench I’d have left

[MK @mandicane]

I genuinely started tearing up at this

[Animal Love @YVemula5063]

Punch is trying to catch rain drops💧 😂😂🥺🥺😘😘
How funny this tiny punch😅
#Punchi

[myles brown @mdotbrown]

(That corgi story is the last pure thing left in the world and Im almost scared to believe it. If its AI I will start the war against the machines tonight.)

[bts saw lilia @lockharthv]

if i see any of you arguing with people whose faves got outstreamed by the sound of a bell you're getting blocked and reported

[jojo⁷ saw bts ♥️🪭 @93SHAD0WS]

i didnt have a single doubt that bts were going to devour, but i speak from the heart, this album is completely surpassing ANY expectations i had, this is so fucking good

[MK @mandicane]

@Danish42011 @Aa6159242563873 @BumbleBee44444 @beyoncegarden What do you think happens in restrooms? I’ve been using the women’s restroom my entire life and have never seen someone else’s genitalia. People go in the stall, pee/poop, wash their hands (hopefully), and leave. What are these poor children at risk of seeing??

[slice @sliceofheck]

They should make a Jurassic Park movie where all the dinosaurs and humans get along and the park runs just fine. I’m tired of this

[🧑🏾‍🦱 @ewgraiam]

they’re saying there’s 30g of protein in spending a night laughing with your friends

[helena riley @freshhel]

U say something funny and guys r like hmm.. it would be so funny if someone said that

[Libriscent @libriscent]

And for the man, perhaps a therapist?

[MK @mandicane]

I’m gonna end up killing myself over this damn monkey

[インコ北海道 @shitteruzhouhou]

他のサルたちが警戒し、騒ぎ始めると、
パンチ君はすぐにぬいぐるみを抱きしめて、
不安をしのぎます🐒🧸😊

#がんばれパンチ

[Conspiratorial Templates @mynamehear]

Doesn't anybody want to impress Jodie Foster anymore?

[alice hamilton @AliceRHamilton]

when I wish death on Donald Trump or Elon Musk and someone tells me “karma is gonna get you!” … if karma doesn’t care about the people in the Epstein files then I’m confident I’ll face no mystical repercussions over some mean tweets