Mandy P

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

[Mandy P @mandyp_10]

Hey @XfinitySupport - why can't I get through to ANYONE regarding the outage in Berkeley, CA and there's no time estimate for when my internet will be back?!

[Sarah Langs @SlangsOnSports]

there it is

[Demetri Martin ([email protected]) @DemetriMartin]

Kind of a dick move toward trees.

[Buitengebieden @buitengebieden]

After more than eight years of service, this TSA airport sniffer dog officially retired.

This is how they surprised him on his final bag search.. 😊

[TechnicallyRon (On all the platforms) @TechnicallyRon]

I took 1 star reviews of #Barbie from furious men on letterboxd and put them on the posters because it makes the film seem ever cooler.

[parker lyons @tweetsbyparker]

i’m sorry i can’t think of a joke funnier than twitter failing to get the necessary permits to change their building signage and the police shutting it down just in time for “er” to remain

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

;(

[lex 🍳 @strayserval]

@sferenchak found one of these people in the wild once

[The Serfs (youtube.com/theserftimes) @theserfstv]

Bill Nye is union guy! Bill! Bill! Bill!

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

I love the morals of The Ugly Duckling. "It's ok that you look different. There is beauty in your uniqueness. Your worth comes from withi- oh you got hot lol thank god, I was just saying shit"

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

Ok which one of you did this

[Drew Tuma @DrewTumaABC7]

San Francisco gonna San Francisco

[ADHD Jesse @adhdjesse]

“I’ll put this somewhere weird so I’ll remember it’s there.”
—me, 6 months ago

Reader, it’s still there, and I have no idea where there is.

[Mark Rofe @iamrofe]

The Barbie marketing team have done it again. So creative 👏🏻

[George Mack @george__mack]

"Most people die at 25 and aren't buried until they're 75"

Why?

4 reasons and solutions:

[Annie Wu (all socials: @annie_wu_22) @Annie_Wu_22]

i need everyone to google “Ryan Gosling” or “Margot Robbie” right now

just do it — TRUST.

[Washington State Dept. of Natural Resources @waDNR]

Stop saying "I feel guilty for eating that third hot dog,"
and start saying "I'm thoughtfully restoring salt lost in sweat in a concerted effort to stay hydrated"

[Drew Tuma @DrewTumaABC7]

Only the immediate coastline will be spared from the dangerous heat across California this weekend (thanks @KarlTheFog ). Excessive Heat Warnings and Heat Advisories will be in effect across most of California where our hottest spots could reach 130° (lookin' at you Death Valley)

[Liz Charboneau @lizchar]

oh, she's not allowed to surf? says who, JONAH HILL???