Sword

dream girl evil

[disgraced congressman @jon4hry4n]

can’t wait to take the gay train to my woke job

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

I know it’s become pretty cliche and cringey to talk about at this point but if you’re under like 25 I cannot stress enough how one time Obama wore a tan suit and people spent a week arguing over whether or not it was demeaning to the Oval Office and they were serious about it.

[CRG @Cantrushit]

Boomers five years ago: “I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY IMAGE OR POSTS BEING USED BY MARK ZUCKERBERG FOR META, FACEBOOK, INSTAGRAM, OR WHATSAPP TO SELL MY DATA. Like and share if you agree!”

Boomers today, for some reason: “hey I just uploaded all your baby pictures to ChatGPT and you and all your cousins look like penguins isn’t this cute I’m uploading all the grandkids next”

[Kat DesCamp-Renner @KatDCR]

Malcom X park fountains on, Nats have a new puppy, Bad Day to Be A Hotdog hats everywhere. DC is the greatest city in the world baby

[Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson]

This is it.
Everything learned spending millions on longevity.

From: Your Immortal Unc and Auntie.
To: Our Immortal nieces and nephews.

0. Sleep is the world's most powerful drug.
1. Be in your bed for 8 hours
2. Same bedtime every night, any time before midnight
3. Don’t eat right before bed
4. Calm foods for dinner
5. No screens 1 hour before bed
6. Avoid added sugar (be aware it’s in everything)
7. Avoid all things in an American convenience store
8. Avoid fried foods
9. Shoes off at the door
10. Eat whole foods, particularly veggies fruits nuts legumes berries
11. Walk a little after meals or air squats
12. Get your heart rate high routinely
13. Lift heavy things
14. Stretch daily
15. Water pik, floss, brush, tongue scrape, morning and night
16. Make an effort to drink water
17. Get sunlight when you wake up (UV is low)
18. Protect skin in midday sun
19. Stand up straight
20. See at least one friend once a week
21. Avoid plastic where you can (in all things)
22. Circulate air in rooms
23. When stressed, breathe, learn to calm your body
24. Go to the dentist
25. Avoid sitting for long times
26. Protect your hearing, the world is too loud
27. Alcohol is bad for you
28. Finish coffee before noon
29. Avoid bright lights after sunset
30. If obese, look into a GLP
31. Sleep in a cold room
32. Texting while driving is dangerous
33. Turn off all notifications
34. Limit social media use
35. Don’t smoke anything
36. If you struggle to sleep, read a physical book before bed
37. 1 hour before bed have a calm wind down routine: bath, read, light walk, listen to music
38. The body is a clock and loves routine. Have a daily morning and evening schedule.
39. Avoid long distance travel where you can
40. Baby steps first: incorporate new things slowly
41. Do less… most things don’t work.

Bonus points if you get your blood checked.

Start here, it will change your life.

[cowboy postbop @cowboy_postbop]

everyone is mad at this but it’s correct — even with Amazon’s involvement, the Met Gala is obviously less intertwined with American capitalism than, say, a regular season MLB game, which gets a very different reception among socialists on Twitter Dot Com. it’s primarily vibes.

[zay @boysforzay]

but i was told-

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

If the Pope excommunicates JD Vance I’m going back to mass every sunday

[Pope Leo XIV @Pontifex]

Hundreds of millions of people throughout the world are immersed in extreme poverty. Yet, disproportionate wealth remains in the hands of a few. It is an unjust scenario, in the face of which we cannot fail to question ourselves and commit to change things. There is no lack of resources at the root of disparities, but the need to address solvable problems related to a more equitable distribution of wealth, to be achieved with moral sense and honesty.

[Adam Smith @adamndsmith]

If I had a nickel for every time Franz Ferdinand was involved in the precursor events of a world war, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

this is how you talk about trans issues w the median voter btw.

[Ari Drennen @AriDrennen]

Credit where credit is due: this is really strong messaging from Graham Platner on trans athletes.

[Chris Freiman @cafreiman]

It’s a strategic mistake for the left to cede patriotism to the right rather than correctly point out that the right has actually betrayed American principles

[autumn cs @Akitron]

Emerald fennel keeps making movies and yet Autumn De wilde does not…….. sick and twisted

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

it's time to give that baby monkey a gun

[Mehdi Hasan @mehdirhasan]

The stumble is a warning - but not in the way Ross thinks. It’s a warning to everyone on the left - from the liberals in the center to the socialists on the far left: the rightwingers and their friends in the mainstream media will happily engage in smear campaigns and gotchas against Dems in way they never do against the GOP. That we are all talking about this AOC Taiwan answer and not the rest of her answers, or even the fact that the president is an imbecile and an ignoramus who couldn’t find Taiwan on a map of his life depended on it is what’s revealing and Dems need to be ready for this media climate come 2028

[cappy •ᴗ•ᵍᵐ🎩 @leanpockets]

@WSJ Hey guys there's a network of billionaire child fuckers who are pillaging the economy and setting up an AI powered surveillance state but have you considered not buying a $7.99 chicken?