Marcus Lazarus

Part time rock god and real good Dad.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

@Alexand64830045 @NUFCWomen Yes because it's the money that scores goals. All those little pound coins rolling around pretending to be footballers.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

#LFC I guess the auto subtitles bot still has a lot to learn, but maybe he actually said that? I wasn't sure! @LiverpoolFC

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

Just when you think you had a great year, remember @WilliamShatner went into space.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

Amazing how people misunderstand the difference between Socialism and Communism when it comes to caring for your fellow human. One is good, one not so much.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

I get the same reaction when I’ve just released an album

[cluedont @cluedont]

The joy.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

The joy of shoplifting

[Sue💚 @SueTaylor_]

Thank you @RickyGervais - saying what needs to be said #Politics

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

Tested positive on 15th. Felt a bit shit for a day or two. Feel absolutely fine today and a negative LFT this morning. Was that it? Done .. boom.

[@[email protected] @mrchrisaddison]

Ultimately, what's going to finish us all off is thick people who are convinced that they're clever people. From the cabinet of dunces to these angry, sentient dumplings, they're the worst of us.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

Scientists have managed to create an artificial testicle. A spokesperson said “This is a Sim Bollock moment.” #dadjoke

[Jesus H Christ! @ThatBloke_Jesus]

Hey remember when Dad gave everyone free will

Then drowned everyone in a flood for not using it as he wanted

#goodtimes

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

Take 3 absolute children with a camera crew and stick them in the best theme park in the UK - watch them shit themselves even looking at a roller coaster while holding cuddly toys and drinking sugar based ice beverages and getting paid shit loads for it - hilarious. #altontowers

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

Fuck the Covid Grinch. You absolute muthafucka.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

@ChronicleNUFC It’s not all Ashley and Bruce’s fault we’re in this position? Are you actually joking Barnesy?

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

@BeardedCarpMan @GavinMcMillan17 @ChronicleNUFC I was there, left hand corner with all the Mags - we went absolutely bezerk

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

@NUFC Our only hope is for a mass outbreak of Covid and get these games deferred to the new year …

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

@ChronicleNUFC The result may be inevitable, but the support will still be there no matter what. Just hold on a couple more weeks, lads n lasses …

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

@NUFC Makes no difference. With these players we’ll be lucky to keep the score line down to single figures anyway.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

@ChronicleNUFC Runs around like a scalded cat. Unfortunately has the same ability on the ball. Lovely fella, no doubt. But it ain’t a popularity contest. Sell.

[Marcus Lazarus @marcuslaz]

Hate and anger is on the rise. Social Media is fuelling it, and I get the irony of posting this on Twitter https://t.co/I3TAZr9sCm