Maybe: Mariya

Actress. Indie author. Avocado toast critic. Pug mom/enthusiast. Plant killer. #writingcommunity

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Why the - and I cannot stress this enough - FUCK don’t they pave Fairfax??

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Thanks for being completely incompetent @Carvana - now thanks to you, I got a way better deal at @CarMax and in a fraction of the time. 🩷

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

And being single and child free is concerning why?

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

This is extremely concerning!!

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Very much so.

[The Sopranos Guy™ @uncle_june]

1 ticket for 1 ticket for
oppenheimer barbie
please 💣 please💖

[Sopranos Vibes @sopranos_vibes]

What’s a Sopranos quote that could also be said in a porno?

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Not my dog trying to break down the fucking door at 3 am and scaring the fuck out of everyone

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

@orange_peelbeef “You can’t trust something that could literally go fuck itself”

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

I get WAYYYY too excited for wordle each day. Like abnormally so. Anyone else?

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Who’s your favorite LA billboard attorney and why is it Jacob?

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Turns out the 3 lbs was water weight, but Facebook still thinks I have a double chin

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Gains 3 lbs, gets targeted weight loss ads 👀

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Gains 3 lbs, gets targeted weight loss ads 👀

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Hey human, I’m just trying to have a conversation with your dog. Don’t make it weird by trying to join in.

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

If I ever go missing and you fuckers don’t lie about my weight, I’ll stay missing

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

If you ever want me to purchase literally anything, just tell me @Jaclynhill wears/uses it and I’ll throw you all my money

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

“A research team in Hangzhou, China, found that frequent consumption of fried foods, especially fried potatoes, was linked with a 12% higher risk of anxiety and 7% higher risk of depression than in people who didn’t eat fried foods.”

STFU nerds.

[CNN @CNN]

French fries — they’re greasy, starchy and a comfort food for many https://t.co/fN1z2VtX8n

[ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl]

“can you explain the gaps in your resume?” yes that was when I worked really weird jobs that I don’t want you to know about

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

When he says those three magic words … (are you hungry)

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

When you realize you’re singing along to I am the Stripclub a little too loudly at work

[Maybe: Mariya @mariyaranieli]

Just heard someone call LAX terminal 3 the Tom Brady terminal 😁🤣