Mat

A couple of sentences. Which are funny.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@Gizmodo

[Mat @matstrachan]

@ATRightMovies The Green Knight, but it should be the next James Bond. Watch Monkey Man and tell me the man shouldn’t be Bond.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@messedupfoods No. Just no.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@ratemyplatenow Marion’s a greedy cow then.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@EdwardArthur5 @almurray Thank you for posting those links, absolutely fascinating!

[Mat @matstrachan]

@messedupfoods Also, why do only the green balls get the chef’s special sauce? Spread the love man.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@messedupfoods Correct number of green balls. Insufficient brown balls. I’d take three yellow balls off the plate to make room for them. Otherwise, a quality ball plate.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@ratemyplatenow Jesus that looks grim. I don’t think Jonathan is quite well in the head.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@ratemyplatenow Apparently some sort of heat source.

[Richard Strachan @RWStrachan1977]

Obligatory panicking author post about pre-orders!
My novel The Unrecovered is published on Thursday 13th Feb, and preorders are tremendously important etc etc.
Here are a few links of where to find it:
https://t.co/zQaYsw204w

Thanks!

[John Smith @verypopularname]

I will never have all of my questions about this incident answered.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@Slackenough

[Mat @matstrachan]

@DillonBloomfie1 @easyJet Thanks Dillon!

[Mat @matstrachan]

@easyJet @DillonBloomfie1 My wife’s booked on the same flight. Is it cancelled or not?

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

RT if you’d like me to represent the UK at #Eurovision 2022.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@louistherouxbot If this is a bot, it’s a damn good one.

[Mat @matstrachan]

@Ash_Hirani @jeremycorbyn @UKLabour One pretty glaring omission...

[Mat @matstrachan]

@richstrach You can tell it’s Scottish as there’s only a very tiny bit of lettuce tucked under one corner.