Matt Capovani

University of Rochester 2019 #50

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

If you really think about it, overnight oats are just edible concrete (if you really think about it)

[lily @lilregs7]

I think this election we ALL need to come together to give our children a future where bi weekly and twice a week can truly be two different phrases.

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Sorry guys, I’ll meet up with ya in a bit. I forgot my COVID-19 Vaccination Record Card at home

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Littering is technically just REALLY slow composting

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Might have my first lead - new hire at work, Paul, seems like a chill dude. More to come

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Quick life update. Decided I will be befriending 6 Paul’s to carry my casket at my funeral. This ensures I’ll get one last joke in on my way out.

Applications now being accepted in my DM’s

Requirements:
• Must be named Paul

[Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat]

Did they make the Chipotle hot salsa hotter or am I becoming a wimp?

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Gonna start a Youtube channel where I rent AirBnbs and make slight home modifications. New paint color here, floating shelf there. Might even fuck around and replace the faucet

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

As an ordained minister, I now get to do cool things like:

1. Officiate weddings for friends/family
2. Fraternize with the laity class
3. Call a charge on the groom
4. Call myself an Ordinand (lol)

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Hope springs a turtle

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

This town ain’t big enough for the four of ‘em

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

And then I turns to him and says “what’s so sweet about potatoes anyways???”

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

@YABOYFANNYPACK Is this Common Core mathematics?

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

@YABOYFANNYPACK Is this Common Core mathematics?

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Painters tape seems excessive

[Chef Andrew Gruel @ChefGruel]

For anyone wondering if they should let their meat rest after cooking but before cutting. I cooked two identical cuts of meat. The top one was cut immediately the bottom one rested for 15 minutes.

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Me after electrocuting myself while installing recessed lighting in my new house (n2b):

I’M ELECTRIC! BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE!

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Equalized the pressure in my ear on a flight back in August and been chasing the high ever since

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

@phtefe @nomah997 Stop

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

Coffee is just boneless bean water

[Matt Capovani @mattcapov]

@YABOYFANNYPACK This you?