Matthew Callari

cabalist

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

🚨 Gilgamesh mentioned 🚨

[Bryan Johnson @bryan_johnson]

The world wants me to die.

My incurable disease diagnosis became global news. It was omnipresent on social media and 1,900 articles were written in a matter of days.

Many were saddened.

However, joy dominated the commentary.

People pointed to schadenfreude, the pleasure of another's failure. Yes, there’s that. There is a special place in people’s hearts that loves to see others fail, especially when that person’s presence threatens their own psychological stability in some way or helps them feel better about themselves.

But, if you look over the social media commentary about me, you’ll see that pattern:

“he deserved it.”

I deserved it because I challenged death. The crowd was running a deeply rooted psychological script that represents the oldest, most deeply embedded stories of human culture.

This was the first story ever written down, 4,000 years ago. Gilgamesh sought eternal life after losing someone he loved, only to have the plant of youth stolen by a serpent as he bathed. Leaving him to accept his mortality.

Asclepius became so skilled at rejuvenation that he raised the dead. As punishment, Zeus struck him down with a thunderbolt to enforce life and death authority.

This is the story of Jesus. Pontius Pilate offered a choice between a thief and the immortalist, and the crowd demanded the execution.

People need this story conclusion to keep themselves sane. The challenger must lose and the loss must appear deserved. It’s a shield of self preservation.

For if death is inevitable, their existence and that of their loved ones is justified and unavoidable. If death is not inevitable, nothing about their reality is safe.

I occupy the same philosophical and archetypal position as Gilgamesh, Asclepius and Jesus.

This statement will draw outrage and accusations of blasphemy, hubris and narcissism. Nevertheless, it’s the pattern that has repeated itself for thousands of years.

Death has been the omnipresent concern of the human race. It encapsulates our greatest fears, joy and curiosities. The discourse around it changes over time; however, the fundamentals remain unchanged.

What’s different about this moment, that is unlike any other moment, is that physical death may no longer be inevitable.

What if I didn’t deserve it?

And what if I am your ally, and not a threat?

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@SStricklandMMA Getting narcan’d in an alleyway

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@ScottPresler No, because he lacks the life to approve or disapprove of anything

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@tom_on_here Just one more bump Connor. One more cycle. We believe in you!!!

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

Past tense 🤷

[ThePersistence @ScottPresler]

Senator Lindsey Graham wanted the SAVE America Act.

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

You’re a cuck @jaketapper

[The Tennessee Holler @TheTNHoller]

TAPPER: “Iran says the Strait is closed…”
TRUMP: “Don’t talk about it.”
@jaketapper: “Ok.”

Journalism! This is tough to watch.

But hey can’t make things awkward at the White House Correspondents Dinner, right?

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@gracecamille_ @CantEverDie How long did this take you

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

I don’t even defend Italian-Americans anymore I’ll just look at you like this

[NYC Council Italian Caucus @ItalianCaucus]

We made him an offer he couldn’t refuse. 🇮🇹 💪

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

Thank you for this encouraging update

[Conor McGregor @TheNotoriousMMA]

My head gasket is gone. Destroyed. I had no injury / injuries going into the fight. I was throwing kicks, planted and jumping, all throughout camp as well as backstage before the fight. This came out of nowhere. I am beyond dark here. I can only describe it as hell.

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

Yeah please don’t do this, but admittedly I’d probably ask Kathy Najimy to gimme a “HOO YEAH!” if I ever met her

[tobey @tobeyy_mag]

A fan asked Inde if she could do the sad face but she said no😭you could tell she’s already getting tired of the fans…id have said no too..

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

When I’m in a Hate The First Amendment competition and my opponent is a conservative

[America @america]

Those who openly hate America do not belong in public office representing it.

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@daveanthony At least McGregor’s leg blew up

[Haydn, 🇵🇸 @bilbosfootcomb]

49 year old Italian American 4 generations removed from Italy, who could not carry a conversation in Italian, and hates the concept of immigration generally voice:

Why didn’t Zohran acknowledge my immigrant community

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

One of the best athletes who’s ever lived in not even kidding

[Cultaholic Wrestling @Cultaholic]

Paul Wight's McDonald's order from when he was in his 20s:

Two Big Macs, 20 McNuggets, three sets of fries, a drink, a milkshake, and an apple pie.

At Taco Bell, Paul Wight would get two 10-packs of tacos.

At White Castle, he would eat 40 sliders.

Wight estimated that he was probably eating 12,000-13,000 calories per day in his 20s.

(Source: TFI Friday)

[Holden @holdenpgumb]

OG Anunoby

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@DanteTheDon I’m sorry you’re so dumb man

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@Return_Of_RB Roddy Piper in They Live

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

@TimmyFacciola_ Spring St is also valid

[Silky Creatine Hole @turnandstomp]

Are Italian Americans okay??? Little Italy hasn’t been a RECENT immigrant enclave since my parents were coming there as small children. ALL THESE ASSHOLES BEING INTERVIEWED LIVE IN LONG ISLAND OR JERSEY

[Matthew Callari @matthew_callari]

They should also let the hitters goad gamblers into losing millions! Bet he didn’t think of that one!

[Buster Olney @Buster_ESPN]

Bryce Harper has a fun idea for the HR Derby: When the gold balls are brought into play, let the hitters swing aluminum bats.
That would be a show... and you might see balls leave Citizens Bank Park.