Matt Tribe

Everyone needs to calm down.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

@wirelyss @AutismCapital Ross will be freed too

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@GovCox if you don’t have any plans tonight I’m headlining @WiseguysUtah and I’ll give you a guest spot

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@coltsmith Yankees are right dude… why are we wasting all our time in the Middle East when we could be bombing Cambodia right now

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@spencerking That’s not even close to the same thing! You live in the Wild Wild West ya idiot. How about show a little respect for your heritage. You’ll never know what it feels like to be a man until you own boots. Adult jersey wearers are the adults who go to Disneyland sans kids. Losers.

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@eaglerarelife you didn’t discontinue yourself did you?

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@utahjazz I heard the Jazz weren’t very good this season. Is that true?

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@tacobell you make me sad by not having double decker tacos.

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@mikeandike Dear Mike and Ike, I am an honest and trustworthy citizen. The reptilians who replaced lime candy with communist green apple are destroying America. I need to purchase 5,000 Lime Mike & Ikes or else the lizards win. This is a matter of National Security.NSAPentagonCIA

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@BrianODomhnaill you think Bill Clinton is a patriot? You know he has sex with kids right? He’s a monster

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@brianisgood96 @jdfaganjr Jd doesn’t get it

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@jdfaganjr @brianisgood96 Bill Clinton has sex with kids.

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

Voting accomplishes nothing

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@tacobell I’m an ordained minister and as soon as the tyrannical government lets us exercise our constitutional right again you better believe I’m gonna preach your destruction. You better give me a double decker taco guarantee card or else!!!!

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@tacobell why is in n out gonna make you their bitch until the end of time? Doyyy their secret menu. They’ll make you whatever tou want with their ingredients, but yet some idiot that’s in charge there won’t allow double decker tacos? Tyrants get the rope!!!!!! You ruined my life

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@tacobell I’d like the phone number please to the executive who driver that nasty ass abomination quesarito can stay on the menu but the wonderful double decker must be eliminated. That person is a sack of shit. The whole menu is shit now. Thanks a lot

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@tacobell you jerks need to get your act together. You cancelled double decker tacos and now they refuse to make them even though you have all the ingredients? Imagine I created an analogy explaining how you ruined my life and should get punched. Give me a double decker!!! Yeesh

[Spence Roper @SpenceRoper]

Tonight on @WiseguysUtah Facebook live stream 7 pm

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@comedyhenderson Lime was the best thing to happen to this country until those fucks @skittles replaced it with Clinton mind control green apple poison. Fuck you
@skittles for poising this country with your filth

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@kfcbucketgeorge If only they knew how unimpressive my wiener was they’d be leaving the boning innuendo’s to the professionals.

[Matt Tribe @MattTribe]

@RingPopOfficial I’m telling you! Send me the trophy! I did it! I won! No biting!