McKenzie Telthorst

Mostly thinly-veiled grievances and congratulating myself on my own comedy

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

I thought stumbling upon an abandoned property and unmasking a ghost to reveal it was just the owner trying to keep people away by scaring them was going to be a bigger part of my life

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

@museumsamSTL @TheGramophone Am I the first? I’ll take that Boy Howdie any day 🔥 welcome back!

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Menus these days be like:

A bed of lettuces with a disappointing lack of carbs | half $10 full $13

Add chicken $28

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Happy Halloween or to anyone over the age of 23, Monday

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

@ztdodson sucker

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

You know you're old when headlines start to read like Dothraki https://t.co/YLxJKzPTTm

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

And not one mention of a brie-call. Missed opportunity https://t.co/PCPDgE4kui

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

If you’re not eating your toddler’s untouched dinner as an appetizer, are you even a parent?

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

@NicholasAJacobs you must mean the MYTH of global warming

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

One of my coworkers said today "It’s unfortunate that our jobs require a level of intelligence that’s way out of proportion to the importance of our work" and I couldn't agree more

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Kinda feeling like I need a podcast so I can talk to my friends

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

I can confirm it’s true that your current internet provider can sense fear where you’re about to move and will completely fuck up your world in the last few days of service

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Gorgeous gorgeous girls restart their computer once a week

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

May 12,2022: the day Alexa successfully responded to my 2-year-old. Let the nightmare begin.

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Anyone else’s dogs follow you, but in front of you?

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

By far the best part of hosting brunch in your 30s is that someone else always does the dishes for you

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Toddlers getting a bath

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Me too, Google Ads. Me too.

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

Sharing this again because I still believe in it

[McKenzie Telthorst @mcktelt]

@boblanner Are you on the set of Fargo