My wish for the new year is that people stop sending me clips of other comedians, telling me how funny they are. I don’t send you videos of other plumbers or accountants. “Look how well they plumb and account for things.”
My time on Twitter has taught me how to change a tire, where babies come from and that I should eat something called kale. Just took a few CEO’s to get there.
Wearing one of those ridiculously tall chef hats while I serve my dog his breakfast entrée of free range, grass fed, locally sourced chicken breast with a pumpkin reduction.