Michael Thornton

Tall, dark and handsome. United.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

People who were "born again" were also born yesterday.

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

In 1976 we didn't let a bit of hot weather bring life to a standstill. I was at school and can distinctly remember carrying on racially abusing other pupils as usual.

[RTÉ Sport @RTEsport]

Pico Lopes answers the call from his club manager Stephen Bradley after a historic night for Cape Verde

"Would you believe I got called for doping"

Watch all 104 games from the #FIFAWorldCup on RTÉ

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

YOU FUCKING MORON.

Passports are for U.S. citizens traveling abroad.

They are not for people who are 'welcomed'. They are for people already here.

Just melt into sludge already.

[Kevin Kilbane @kdkilbane77]

Outstanding

[Sir Michael Take CBE @MichaelTakeMP]

I’ve been given £5m by a cryptocurrency millionaire so my wife Bunty & I will be taking a break.
We’re off to buy Ferraris, hire security & tell anyone who asks to bugger off as it’s none of their bloody business.🤬
Off to the South Pole to escape the socialist heat.
Back Monday!

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

I can’t understand why people say there are no tangible Brexit benefits.
I’d say five million quid was pretty tangible. 😀

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

India, it's been too long since I reached out and made a personal appeal to join your pantheon. If you give Me a chance you'll see I'm just as arbitrary, cruel and unprovable as any of your 330 million gods. And I'll throw in my son for free! He'll die for your sins! I'm serious!

[Curiosity @CuriosityonX]

🚨: Voyager 1 has been travelling non-stop since 1977, faster than a speeding bullet every second of every day, and it has not yet reached the distance of a single light-day from Earth

[John Murray @bbcjohnmurray]

My first visit to the New Jersey stadium.
Commentary on #ECUGER later.
Our position is among the white benches under the FIFA World Cup banner…

[Michael Thornton @mickeyt1970]

@Number10cat Dumb as a brick

[Michael Thornton @mickeyt1970]

@AndyMitten Nice town as are a lot of places in Puglia and Basilicata

[A Funny Old Game @sid_lambert]

38 years ago today:

A header for the ages in the final of the European Championships.

The bullet from Gullit…

[Sir Michael Take CBE @MichaelTakeMP]

Who I blame for all this ghastly hot weather:
Keir Starmer
Andy Burnham
Lazy teachers
BBC
Meghan Markle
Ange Postecoglou
Mounjaro
Jude Bellingham
Matcha
Chat GPT
Hydration breaks
Spiteful class warriors
Call The Midwife
Women who vape
Langoustines
That Norwegian rowing chant.
😡

[Larry & Paul @larryandpaul]

😳 BREAKING: 100% of Britons Now IN FAVOUR of Brexit! 🇬🇧

#BrokenNews

[Football Away Days @AwayDaysFB]

This Dutch fan carried 26 pints by himself after refusing a tray.. 🤯

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

Happy Brexit anniversary.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

As a nutjob.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

You are your own punishment.