Midwest Sober

[ppigg @s4m31p4n]

Relearning my job every monday like adam sandler in 50 first dates

[Beer Enjoyer @YungGiamatti]

If you get hangovers it's because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

I was driving today on a residential street in St B and clocked a random cat - he was running 35km/h… then I just looked this up lol

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

Got a lot of ice time today (drove 30km/h in a 110 for an hour because the highways were so bad)

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

Hate it when movies start on punk time

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

The amount of “hot” unopened Lego sets on fb marketplace right now is astounding

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

@kokanee8pack There is if you’re on untapped bro

[The Frustrating Individual @MILFmassacre]

british nihilist: life means fuck all. the blokes who invented it were having a laugh

[Jonah Weiner @jonahweiner]

Going fishing and all you catch is a tin can and a boot with the sole flopping open — doesn’t happen as much anymore

[Kristi Yamaguccimane @TheWapplehouse]

new guys me clocking in
first day on everyday for
the job 14 years

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

@ndjusticeforlol Bro I wore tons of sunscreen this week and still got cooked

[Riley Collins @rileycollins__]

Telling MyFitnessPal that I had 26 miller lites last night

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

@drhustlermd From the 1.5 second glimpse, it was in fact quite the opposite

[Midwest Sober @micro2thefuture]

Thinking of the guy at the gig last night standing beside me and when he tried to pull his phone to take a video of Still Fighting, he accidentally opened up his camera roll and it was all dick pics

[sultan of shwing @mywarsidetwo]

the final boss of being a punk band from a non MTV Canadian city is opening for doa