miku

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

it’s amazing how women are able to navigate crowded rooms without ever touching a palm to a man’s lower back

[Lice ᖭ༏ᖫ @ichoosespeakk]

as meninas da minha idade tudo indo fazer ultrassom gracas a deus to indo no psiquiatra

[َ @chudology]

ever since i was a little kid i knew i wanted to go missing or die after an argument so the other person would feel bad

[piss girl @xtsygirll]

i feel like a diversity hire at family gatherings

[sam @samcanmiss]

People get tattoos that could have been an instagram repost

[alopecia chlamydia @usedwifi]

they queened it

[JT @jiratickets]

me on the way to work watching the homeless man on the train experience a generational crashout at 7:45 AM

[roro, PhD @fuglibetty]

The cyclist is a disarming evil; he possesses all the arrogance of the driver with all the victim complex of a pedestrian

[Dentist the Menace @SoTheyCallMeDJ]

The funniest tweet ever

[Deterio 🦍🇵🇸🔻 @NxtDeterio]

unfortunately unwoke vocal stim

[dash @thedigitaldash_]

being one of the last ppl standing with an iphone that takes a lightning charger instead of a usb-c

[blaire @pissshit90001]

Leaving the club with 0 phone numbers and 0 instagrams cuz I’m an alcoholic not a hoe

[. @plainhateful]

new job is needed by september at the latest.

[corb @awshuqs]

I don’t want to be a fat fucking chud anymore

[ava 🌞 @moonsoultarot]

Thinking like this will actually save you

[JaguarGator9 @JaguarGator9NFL]

Justin Bieber picking the 86th most famous song in his catalogue with a negative tempo for the halftime show was… a choice

[Magills @magills_]

Lots of Spaniards not going into work tomorrow. Not because of the win. Because no one in that country has a job.

[tiffany fong (retarded) @TiffanyxFong]

I am SO taking Tylenol when I get pregnant