Miss Doxie

Dog stalker, password forgetter, she/her

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

@FaithBlackGirl @Huntersprize Send me your address! I am not joking about having boxes and boxes! I clearly did not understand how quantities work!

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

The good news: It’s Head Statue Season at HomeGoods!

The bad news: Linda has a terrible secret

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

@Jeopardamy @fuggirls Today I love the internet again!

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

My only hot take on the Oscars is that my dog should get one for being so committed to a role that he briefly convinced himself that he knew how to play chess

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

@blaireerskine Four years later, we’re still not 100% committed

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

@lrpresley Man, I miss all the blogs!

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

If there’s a bustle in your hedgerow

Don’t be alarmed now

It’s just my dog who has carved out a hole in our bushes so she can pee in private

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

@Celticmegs @lrpresley I think you can still find it on the Wayback machine, but we, too, still refer to them as “geetz” and “burbs that go hong hong”

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

Happy Superb Owl Day to all who celebrate

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

(Brian will probably have Questions about this like “How exactly do you plan to get a repair person to enter this house EVER again” & “What is this going to do to our insurance premiums” but how should I know, there’s a reason the sign doesn’t say “Beware of the Psychics,” Jeez)

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

Our alarm system came with a sign for the front door but I like my choice better

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

It snowed today & the dogs would like to tell you what they think about going outside

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

@backwardsblonde NOT SO GREAT, BOB

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

Happy holidays from our newest addition, Aleister Growley, a deeply, deeply unholy thing we now own because I make good adult choices

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

@Hilksom @merlyntemple Pfft no need, just tell me where to mail this mean-ass cat

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

…which means that somewhere out there is a person who thinks I needed a “Help! Zombie baby!” plaque for an URN, & I feel like I owe that person a letter of apology & maybe some therapy sessions, I AM SO SORRY (but thank you b/c the plaque really makes the painting)

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

Thread: I won a painting at auction & when I got it I realized that it looks like a zombie baby attacking its dad while the mom is all “I told u not to pick up that zombie baby,” so I decided to get a lil brass plaque engraved to say “Help! Zombie baby!” & attach it to the frame

[Miss Doxie @missdox]

So I googled & found customizable plaques & ordered one through a 3rd party seller thing & all was fine until I got the receipt & realized my personalized order was coming from a MORTUARY