Andrew

VB | JMU | ✝️

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

A bottle washes up on the sand. I see there's a message inside. It reads: "Look out behind you!" I turn around just in time for a kangaroo to double leg kick me 150 feet into the ocean

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

“Comparison is the thief of joy” that’s a pretty good saying. But I’ve heard better

[dudermane @612jack]

i just valued my buddy at $1.2 Trillion

[Jordanreviewsittt @jordanreviewsit]

First day on the job and the CEO already trusts me to go get apple gift cards for him

[barrel rolls @barrel_rolls]

you can lead a horse to baja but you can’t make it blast

[General Grievous @GeneralGrevio13]

If Palpatine was not WHAT?

[Actual Names @ActualNames1]

John Football

United States, Census, 1850

[fishious @fishquichee]

I think the elephant adds a nice touch to the room

[ape @apeman1000000bc]

@paradisekillher my jester keeps pretend stabbing me with string cheese and saying "all in jest, sire, all in jest!" but sometimes it feels like it's more than jest

[pigeon @pigeonisperfect]

coo

[debbie @dm4uz3]

archaeologists be like: yeah we're dating

[epic cat looking galaxy glasses @FaggotLabubu]

what if soap was spelt sope

[realyuriyearners @realyuriyearns]

these are my children lorem ipsum and the quick brown fox.

[trap dad @dude_gang]

white people be like this song was on the nhl 19 soundtrack

[Nate @thenatewolf]

Women will swear they aren’t red-tailed hawks and then text “bring voles” at 3:00 a.m.

[fishy and chips @FATFUCKINGCHUD1]

Your honor please man

[rot ⋆˙⟡ ⚢ @birdsofyuri]

we cant talk here. message me on the jeremy renner app.

[Lil Samsquanch @lilsamsquanch66]

Been drinking pretty much only Diet Coke to save water for Claude