Wicked iNit

[steve @bagshaw2112]

This is funny - the next phase of the #hydration break in the #worldcup . Watch till the end #england

[Epic Clip Vault @EpicClipVault]

I always forget he can actually cook and not just yell at people lol

[IT Unprofessional @it_unprofession]

Please stop sending me emails that say per my last message.

We've all agreed that's just the corporate way of calling someone an idiot.

I'm fully aware I didn't read the attachment you sent yesterday.

I wasn't ignoring you on purpose but my brain simply couldn't process another spreadsheet.

You're sitting in your ergonomic chair pretending this project's the most critical thing in the universe.

It really isn't.

If we don't hit the arbitrary deadline it'll still be fine tomorrow.

I'll still be sitting here regretting my career choices while drinking burnt office coffee.

Let's drop the passive aggressive formalities and just be honest with each other.

You'd be a lot happier if you didn't care so much.

I've got half a mind to reply with a completely irrelevant recipe for banana bread.

That'd really give them something to circle back on.

[Wicked iNit @mpb2010a]

@ListerLawrence Have you bought one ? 😄

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

Have you ever convinced a department head that a broken laptop is actually a status symbol?

The CFO dropped his device down a flight of stairs and shattered the screen.

He demanded an immediate replacement because he had a board meeting in ten minutes.

Provisioning a new machine and migrating his keys takes an hour.

I slapped a piece of clear packing tape over the cracked glass.

I handed it back and told him it was the new privacy mesh.

I explained that the splintered refraction matrix prevents corporate espionage from people looking over his shoulder.

He squinted at the jagged spiderweb of broken glass.

I told him only C-suite executives are authorized for this level of visual encryption.

He instantly stopped complaining and strutted into the boardroom.

His ticket closed under "Advanced Security Deployment" in under two minutes.

He's been squinting through broken glass for a week.

He even asked if we could install the privacy mesh on his phone.

[Know Your Computer 💻 @ComputerrBooks]

HOPE THIS EMAIL FINDS YOU WELL

[Derek Devicemanager @IT_unhinged]

How do you handle remote employees using physical mouse jigglers to fake their Teams status?

Most IT departments just run a script to detect rhythmic USB movements.

That is incredibly boring and requires me to read logs.

Instead, I wait until they are definitely away from their keyboard.

Then I remotely invert their mouse axes.

When they finally sit down and try to close a window, their cursor flies into the opposite corner of the screen.

They panic and reboot.

I have a startup script that immediately inverts it again upon login.

Eventually, they call the helpdesk practically in tears, claiming they have a massive hardware failure.

I act deeply concerned and ask them if they have any unauthorized motorized devices near the optical sensor.

They get completely quiet.

They unplug the jiggler, and I quietly revert the axis remotely.

They thank me profusely for my magical diagnostic skills.

They never fake their status again.

[ClarksonsFarm @ClarksonsFarm1]

Agreed!

[TasteAtlas @TasteAtlas]

Pie and Mash at Manze’s
📍 London, UK 🇬🇧

Explore London: https://t.co/ovTKutKvfT

How has Manze’s remained a London staple since 1902? As the city’s oldest pie and mash shop, this family-run institution has survived world wars and urban shifts by staying true to its original recipes.

The dish is a cornerstone of London’s working-class history. It features minced beef pies with a distinctive suet pastry, paired with heaps of mashed potatoes. The defining element is the “liquor”—a savory, green parsley sauce traditionally made using the liquid from stewed eels.

For the authentic experience, locals always season their plate with plenty of white pepper and a heavy dash of chili vinegar.

Video credit: M.Manze Pie and Mash, Tower Bridge Road SE1

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Whatever Microsoft engineer decided to make the Teams status indicator change from green to yellow after two minutes of inactivity, come here. I just want to talk.

[Sama Hoole @SamaHoole]

The fry-up has been quietly demoted, over the last forty years, from a daily British breakfast to a Saturday indulgence. A hangover meal. A guilty pleasure. The kind of thing you order in a Wetherspoons at half past eleven on a Sunday with a slightly apologetic look at the waitress, on the understanding that you will be having a salad for dinner to make up for it.

Your nutrition app flags it. Your doctor sighs at it. The newspaper runs an article every six months explaining that it will kill you.

This is one of the great practical jokes of modern British life.

The traditional Full English is one of the most nutritionally complete breakfasts a human being can sit down to.

Two eggs from a hen that scratched about in a back garden, eating grubs and kitchen scraps. Complete protein, choline, B12, vitamin D, the whole fat-soluble suite delivered in a yolk the colour of a marigold.

Two rashers of dry-cured back bacon from a Wiltshire pig. Stable saturated fat, B vitamins, selenium.

A pork sausage made that morning with three ingredients by the village butcher. A grilled tomato. Mushrooms cooked in the bacon fat. Black pudding for the iron. A slice of fried bread. A pot of tea strong enough to stand a teaspoon in.

This breakfast fuelled the men who dug the coal, laid the railways, fished the North Sea, and walked twelve miles a day delivering the post. Their cardiovascular disease rate was a fraction of ours. Their diabetes rate was a rounding error. Their obesity rate was zero.

Then sometime around 1985 we were told this breakfast was killing us. We were instructed, by people in offices, to switch to a bowl of corn flakes with skimmed milk. To a yoghurt with fourteen ingredients. To an oat milk latte. To a green smoothie containing more sugar than a can of Coke.

The cardiovascular disease rates climbed.

The diabetes rates climbed.

The obesity rates climbed.

The breakfast did not change. The advice did. The advice was wrong.

A plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, and black pudding will outperform any breakfast designed by a wellness brand in a Shoreditch office. It costs less. It contains no seed oil. It has been keeping the British upright since the Iron Age.

Your grandfather did not feel guilty about his breakfast. He had bigger things to worry about.

So do you.

Eat it on a Tuesday. Without apologising.

[Feargal Sharkey @Feargal_Sharkey]

I need 100,000 signatures to win a parliamentary debate about the ownership of the water industry.

Do your thing internet.

https://t.co/kZz1cXBtz3

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Dear Microsoft,

How can I authenticate my authenticator app if it has to be reinstalled and I can't access my Outlook app to authenticate it because it has to be authenticated on my authenticator app that I can't authenticate?

[It's FOSS @Itsfoss]

True story 🤣

[Wicked iNit @mpb2010a]

@HowThingsWork_ Was know as the golf ball typewriter....

[ClarksonsFarm @ClarksonsFarm1]

Let’s bring this back!

[CJ 🍀 @celtic_jaime]

The good old days

[chaotic memes @memechaotic]

This is how simple men are.

[archivetvmusings @archivetvmus71]

R.I.P Moya Brennan.

[Richie Rich @gofishh77]

All of a sudden my standards have been raised. I now believe this is how all Caesar salads should be made.