Foofapalooza

[Foofapalooza @mpfoof23]

How was that a double minor on Montreal when the interference caused the high stick - make it make sense @NHL_On_TNT #MTLvsTBL

[NBC Olympics & Paralympics @NBCOlympics]

JACK HUGHES. THE MOMENT THAT WILL LIVE FOREVER.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Foofapalooza @mpfoof23]

@Carceo9 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Nature is Amazing ☘️ @AMAZlNGNATURE]

I wouldn’t think bears can just float like that. Cool

[Only In Boston @OnlyInBOS]

Today is the first day that the sun will set at 7PM.

Sunsets this year will remain after 7PM until September.

Happy Sunday.

[Foofapalooza @mpfoof23]

🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[THE NOTORIOUS ZI(E)G @pizzapizzazzzzz]

THEY TESTED MY DNA AND IT WASNT DNA IT WAS USA GO @usahockey cc: @AM34

[Foofapalooza @mpfoof23]

@AkiraleTorimaki @meth_bear this is an upgrade

[Joe Rogan @joerogan]

What the fuck is this shit

[Foofapalooza @mpfoof23]

@NHLBruins

[max homa @Maxhoma]

If u are a casual golfer not playing tournaments, and I can’t stress this enough, do whatever u want. This game sucks and is impossible. Just have fun

[Foofapalooza @mpfoof23]

@WCVB 👎

[Foofapalooza @mpfoof23]

@NHLBruins dumpster fire 🔥

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

'We must not publish a study that says we're harming children because people who say we're harming children will use the study as evidence that we're harming children, which might make it difficult for us to continue harming children.'

[Bill Bratton @CommissBratton]

It's been 23 years since @ABC7NY streamed this live look at Lower Manhattan during the nightly news. It was then that thousands of people — including hero cops and firefighters — unknowingly spent final hours with their loved ones. We must #NeverForget.

[End Wokeness @EndWokeness]

NY Governor Hochul's Deputy Linda Sun demanding "equity" in the US.

Turns out, she was a Chinese spy.

[BucciOT.Com @Buccigross]

#Gaudreau

[unusual_whales @unusual_whales]

BREAKING: Kamala Harris economic adviser affirms that there is a plan to tax unrealized gains, for households worth more than $100,000,000.

CNBC says: "It will not happen in my lifetime."

[eye zen hour 🥶 @eyezenhour]

California is collapsing.

If it were a country, it'd be the 5th largest economy in the world.

But it lost 500,000 residents in 2 years – and people are still fleeing.

Here's how politics & greed ruined the best place on Earth: