Adam Beck

100% almost exactly

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Had a genius idea for a TV show about Twitter, but realized no one could possibly keep track of 280 characters.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Somehow I ended up saying “Bacons’s”

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

When Kevin Bacons’s parents conceived him they were both literally and figuratively making bacon.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

In 2025, movies and tv will be in vertical format to work best on your phone. I’m willing to put money on this.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

The five second rule only works if you say it out loud

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

I’m making fun, but honestly Soylent has been a lifesaver while dealing with a newborn (and often unable to put a meal together). However, my wife pointed out the irony and now I can’t get it out of my head.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Soylent: Formula for Adult Babies™️

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

After two months of struggling our baby has taught himself how to fart, and I never realized how cute farts could be

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Me, at the Oscars: ”People said I was crazy, that Robo-Titanic 2 would never live up to the original... yet here I am, and I’d like to thank the academy, my lovely wife Sherah who always believed in me, our lord Jesus Chr...”

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Me, as a foley artist: “Farting on a yoga ball is exactly what a robot fart would sound like!”

James Cameron: “...but this movie is about the Titanic and takes place before the term ‘robot’ was even coined”

Me, on a yoga ball: “🤖 EXECUTE FART PROTOCOL 🤖”

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

We’ve lost track of our family values. Diapers should be tax deductible and all babies deserve a quality burping. That’s why I’m announcing my candidacy for Dad of the Year in 2020. #adam2020

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Do they make cashmere diapers?

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

What’s the appropriate gift to congratulate your baby on making the biggest poop you’ve ever seen? He struggled so hard with it, I want him to know I recognize his grit and effort.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

@parentzjustdoes Somehow just saw this but it was meant to be sung to the tune of Kissed By a Rose by the legendary Seal

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Did you know? / That when I throw / up in a toilet / I hum to myself / Kissed By a Rose oh again

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

@dethpsun I got half way into the first season of The Wire and never finished because someone never returned the 4th DVD to the video store.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

My couture baby clothing brand: Gucci Goo

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

I only log into twitter to retweet things I someone post on reddit or Facebook.

[Marco Rogers @polotek]

Here's something I've been studying on here for a bit. A lot of men, seem to have been conditioned to think that telling someone that you disagree is the same as asking them a question. Like the way they learn to engage is by *creating a conflict*.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

Big ups to @Postmates for showing a dragon going across their map during game of thrones.

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

@sherah https://t.co/eM03wae5sc

[Adam Beck @mradambeck]

@Postmates_Help nothing happens when I click order. I get a spinner for a second and then it just says “ORDER NOW” again.