John Murray

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

No matter how well read you are there’s always someone weller read

[Points in Case @PointsinCase]

We wanted to take a minute as a company to step back, take a look at each other, and ask the question, "Which one of you can we fire?" (by John Murray) https://t.co/hmhrgq7BHx

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

I just took a DNA test, turns out I’m 100% that bitch and my Dad is 100% THOT. This is a lot to process

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Republicans are dads democrats are moms

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Through active listening and self reflection you will come to realize that carbs aren’t quite so complex

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Do brand ambassadors get diplomatic plates?

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

God I hope I make it into one of the popular bubbles

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Broil is just the Nos button on your oven

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

@CFROST17 haha the bar was a much better choice

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Whenever I'm cooking and find one of those half formed baby peppers inside a pepper I'm reminded why I decided to become a pepper doctor

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Holding a door for someone is the most polite way to force them to sprint

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

So much emphasis on our dystopian future but no one wants to talk about our Flinstonpian past

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Instagram me like one of your French girls

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

After a lifetime working on this book it's safe to say Webster's Dictionary defines me

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

No man is an island. Only some land masses are islands

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

So sick of hearing about big data. It's plus size data people

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Don't sell yourself short @maroon5 you're a maroon 10

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

HA = not funny
haha = funny
Hahahaha = God I'm lonely

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Sometimes you think you're gender neutral but you're actually in gender park

[John Murray @mrjohn_murray]

Joe Buck looks like Dawson's Creek dried up #WorldSeries