Tom Robertson

Northerner living down South.

[✧ 𝓢𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓮 ✧ @lostshine7]

don’t be afraid to spend money on concert tickets and travel. be afraid of growing old and realizing the only place you ever went was work

[Le Mod @LeModFootball]

What an anti-climax for Prince Andrew when a female copper turns up to his house with handcuffs on his birthday, only to bundle him into a Vauxhall Astra

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

An all time classic

[Lemma Wild @lemmawild]

In 2011, a quiet walk in London’s Richmond Park turned into internet history when a black Labrador named Fenton spotted a massive herd of red deer. The dog took off, chasing the animals across a road and causing a stampede that stopped traffic. His owner was filmed running helplessly far behind him.

Interestingly, the dog had previously been given up by the charity Guide Dogs for the Blind because he was deemed "unsuitable" for service.

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

@CrimeLdn 😳

[Cinema Tweets @CinemaTweets1]

Best in Show is one of the first “mockumentaries” I can ever remember seeing. Catherine O’Hara couldn’t be funnier in this film. It’s not possible. This entire cast is amazing & this film is a throwback to the early ‘00s. I’m really going to miss O’Hara. We lost a giant.

[Paul Rees. ex Rucksack. @HannahIamthest1]

A man was sitting in the bar at Heathrow and noticed a
really beautiful woman sitting next to him.
He thought to himself. "Wow, she's so gorgeous she must be an air hostess. I wonder which airline she works for?"
Hoping to find out, he leaned towards her and uttered the Delta Airline slogan. "Love to fly and it shows?"
She gave him a blank, confused stare and he thought to himself. "Well, she obviously doesn't work for Delta."
A moment later, another slogan popped into his head. So he leaned towards her again and said, "Something special in the air?"
She gave him the same confused look He mentally scratched Singapore Airlines off his list.
He thought "Perhaps she works for Thai Airways ..." and said "Smooth as silk?"
This time, the woman turned on him and said, "What the fuck do you want?"
The man smiled, sat back in his chair and said "Ahhhhh, Ryanair!"

🤣🤣🤣

[staxxx🦅 @papiwontmiss]

My siblings had a fight once and it went like this
Lucas: “Anything that comes out of your mouth is stupid!”
Sam: “Lucas.”
To this day I still laugh out loud in inappropriate settings because I randomly think of it.

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

The Premier League Helpdesk gets a very special call from Ruben Amorim...

18+ GambleAware

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

@campbellclaret “editing mistake” 🤣 it was a calculated edit from someone with an anti Trump agenda

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

To be honest, I didn't even know Vancouver Parks and Recreations had avowed me, so the disavowal hasn't been much of a blow. Next time, send me a certificate of avowal, wait until I've proudly framed it, hung it over my PC and taken a selfie with it, THEN revoke it.

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

@arealmofwonder Wonderful attitude to aging

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

@ThatAlexWoman I had a chip butty in the Magpie Cafe in Whitby recently. This was white, absorbent, thinly sliced bread that soaked up the butter and chip fat and it was spectacular.

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

@RealMattLucas Clever..

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

Another one of my top ten favourite movies

[Cinema Tweets @CinemaTweets1]

Boogie Nights is an astonishing film & the fact this is Paul Thomas Anderson’s second film blows my mind. I have no idea how he got Burt Reynolds, a living legend, to sign on to this film. I wish Reynolds would’ve won the Oscar, it would’ve made for a great Hollywood story.

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

In my top ten all time favourite movies

[Cinema Tweets @CinemaTweets1]

Fargo is a stone cold masterpiece. Not that it matters, but I was born & raised in Fargo, North Dakota. Meaning, I take a weird amount of pride in this film. The Coens are from Minnesota so it’s no surprise they capture the desolate nature of a Midwest winter. A perfect film.

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

Ron Manager was genius..

[TheFastShow @TheFastShow1]

Ron Manager; Saturday afternoon is football #thefastshow #PremierLeague

[J.K. Rowling @jk_rowling]

The Twilight of Nicola Sturgeon
My review of Frankly
https://t.co/2TBwrFEs2b

[Tom Robertson @mrtomrobertson]

The Robertson brothers from Billingham playing golf at The Belfry recently.