Matt Stephens

Father, husband, would be rich if I could get paid to fish...

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@MatrixMysteries “Now entering day 87 of her no EBT, government imposed starvation, she has fallen dramatically to a BMI of 49, threatening her status of being Class IV Obese and relegating her to Class III”

The humanity…

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@sonofabeachy My Lexus came with a subwoofer from the factory…

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@CNviolations Maybe she can’t fucking cook and can’t figure out why he didn’t need wheel cleaner to get the burnt shit off the plate?

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@DaveBondyTV @RepHaleyStevens How many votes did she receive to be elected???

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@TexasTamieK When in doubt, go with tried and true:

“Are you fucking serious?”

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@Beno10_MFC 5

3 4 5 right triangle

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@Keir_Starmer If your background is supporting beheading, then you ought be targeted…

There is no justification for the threatening and attacking and violence that continues to occur against the very people you criticize for getting pissed off

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@onlyskypace (4 * sin(pi / 6) + 2 * cos(0) - tan(pi / 4))^2

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@MomsPostingLs Here’s the park 10 minutes after installation:

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@RifeTechnology 💯

Who are we fighting?

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@RestrictedDaily I kinda like the idea of viewing a waterfall through my slider…. 🤦‍♂️

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@Lexibexiio I like how you ended the post with an exclamation. It was not a question. It was a statement.

There’s gotta be someone else who understands rules of grammar that gets it, right?

Am I being overly optimistic here!

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@ronsterd89 Walleye is tough to beat

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@_Aria_2210 100

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@VinnysCorner1 Eric Hipple

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@Idontgive2u Towel day 1 - dry body, hang up
Towel day 2 - throw on floor for standing on
Towel day 3 - why the fuck is this thing still hanging in here???

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@MustafaCharts 7

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@kommonwealthkid @chiefschicktx This guy’s like “I calculated the unit cost per app use for my $1200 phone, my internet, my car cost plus insurance gas and maintenance for driving there, and I’m still paying less you old fuckers just don’t get it”

Meanwhile the rest of us

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@Kinza1278 You misused the word “or” here…

Milk AND butter

[Matt Stephens @mstephenslaw]

@todayyearsold I have a Samsung range with convection oven. Never used the convection oven. One day, decided to use the convection over for tater tots.

Convection oven fan does not function.

So, my oven does not do the exact same thing, despite claiming to.

So, I need an air fryer. 🤷‍♂️