Jon Mullingtons

Full time oaf, part time nap enthusiast

[paddle @ipaddlearound]

david attenborough: [mumbling] skip. i dont like this animal. skip it.

[Pulp Librarian @PulpLibrarian]

I regret to inform you that Ask Jeeves is dead. The site closed yesterday. Web 1.0 lost another founder.

Ask Jeeves: 3 June 1996 - 1 May 2026. Send no memes.

[carter hambley @carterhambley]

hate seeing astronauts having fun up there. floating around tickling each other with a feather. you should be finding a goo that kills all of us

[Will Vernon @BBCWillVernon]

Some inspiration for @MrBButterfield

[Grosdoriane @Grosdoriane]

This is NOT what America is about. America is about *opens history book*

uh oh

*Frantically starts flipping though pages*

uh oh. oh no. no no no. uh oh

[RobotRowboat™ @robotrowboat]

If you smell toast, you might be having a stroke... a stroke of luck that is. It’s toast time.

[Jon Mullingtons @mullingtons]

@Ralphwjbrown Were you at the Amex?

[affe @alfosn]

Deeply fascinated by this distinctively British genre of photography

[sio @bestinsio]

wearing shorts is so embarrassing. Like here are my legs I guess. jesus christ

[doomer @uncledoomer]

imagine the kind of cool stuff theyd build in dubai if it wasnt run by people with the aesthetic sensibilities of a vape shop owner

[For Sale: Gender Reveal Tire, Lightly Used @SparrowAdorer]

"Password must contain at least one special character" all characters are special. Language is a beautiful miracle

[Jon Mullingtons @mullingtons]

@80s_Kidz Krakatoa

[Senior PowerPoint Engineer @ryxcommar]

extremely sus of any man in their mid 20s to mid 30s who doesn't play a map-based strategy game. Like how the fuck do you get through life without occasionally taking the edge off by moving soldiers around on a map

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

been 10 years since this legendary tweet

[Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein]

The 5 elements if I was Captain Planet:

[FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪᏞF @sofarrsogud]

The person who named the fireplace was just fucken sick of naming things

[Jon Mullingtons @mullingtons]

The UK is so far from being able to embrace the French tabac bar: a room half newsagent half bar. Can you imagine necking a Madri down the Nisa Local

[jame @kloogans]

too many generic kid names like "chris" and "jake" out there. if i had a son i'd name him something bad ass. like "the shovel"

[Jon Mullingtons @mullingtons]

@robj3d3 Also their police patrol the public transport stations, which is great