neil ✨

[neil ✨ @neiljkryan]

I was ahead of the curve tbh

[neil ✨ @neiljkryan]

I said what I said Paul

[Will Sloan @WillSloanEsq]

The single most powerful image ever captured

[“Occasionally Here Sometimes” Peter Melnick @PeterMelnick]

Honey, honey, get out the fine glassware. We have company.

[ELLɅ MɅCHINɅ @orchidcamp]

guy hearing about the mcdonald's happy meal for the first time: [eyes welling up with tears] a happy meal. i think i'd like that. i'd like that very much

[Years Progress @YearsProgress]

▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ 99%

[HasbullaHive 🐐 @HasbullaHive]

Good Morning

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

Ratatouille is the name of the food. The rat is called doctor ratatouille

[grillpill @grillpill_]

your honor my client could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now

[Don Hughes @getfiscal]

Baristas are essentially doing guard labour… they are there to supervise your payment for coffee… actually making it only takes a few seconds and could be done by yourself if the equipment and supplies were provided within a gift economy

[Brady @pebbut]

this tweet changed my entire outlook on life

[neil ✨ @neiljkryan]

@CrazyHatLaydee @Pcheffernan

[helena riley @freshhel]

I want to get my roomba drunk as fuck but i cant

[Audrey Horne Updates and Rumors @credenzaclear2]

"you tweet too much" ok would you tell leonardo dicaprio he painted too much?

[orf @justlikeorf]

w-what time is it? oh, uhh...😳💦