x_o_jamie

I still wake up Saturday mornings to watch cartoons while I eat a huge bowl of cereal.

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

If you want a chick thicker than a snicker make sure your face isn’t like a whatchamacallit💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

*plays with ouija board
-is anyone with us?
—Ye-yah!
-can you give me a sign?
—what?!?
-I said, can you give me a sign?
—allllllllright!!

- Lil Jon? Knock it off...you need to move on

—okkkkkay
-🤦🏽‍♀️

💋💋💋💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

No wonder I’m always hungry for KFC... my coworker’s eyebrows are drawn on like two potato logs from KFC💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Stop, drop, and roll was what they taught us as children unless DMX was your dad... you’d would just open up shop... and burn to death

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Shitttttt when your kid’s lunch is $3.15 at school... You realize it’s cheaper to feed seven African kids and one Swahili man🙄💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Mam you can’t park in a handicapped spot just because you keep going back to ex 💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

@HeyokaMuse @ExLife_Coach After you introduce yourself💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

@goff_ii Just make sure “her hair” ain’t on the dresser

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

I am single, not dating anyone ... so if you see me with a dude understand I’m just fostering him until he finds his forever home 💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Want to impress your wife? Go to her job and tickle her nipples like her “work husband” does💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Guess who’s getting drunker than that mooch of a friend that eats and drinks all your food and beer at a cookout and ain’t bring a damn thing🙋🏽‍♀️💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

#truestory

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Him.... Hey babe I’m coming over, SURPRISE

Uhmmmm my dog is in the shop in Venezuela I’m about to leave 💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Ever look at someone and say it’s ok to be stupid, I don’t judge ... just shut and drop your man panties ?💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

For the low price of $300.00 an hour I will pose as your marriage therapist and tell your spouse they are wrong 💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

@Mrgoldenrod Damn would’ve just gave you an address

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

@ExLife_Coach @Crigmaster Leave window lickers alone

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

@ExLife_Coach Mad dog ... seriously ... 🙄💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

💋

[x_o_jamie @nero_jamie]

Fuck a pink starburst
Can you be a grape Swedish fish ——— I’ll wait 🙄
💋💋💋💋💋💋xoxoJ