Erich

[Devon Eriksen @Devon_Eriksen_]

"I have a plan for GoodThing!"

"Great, let's hear it."

"First of all, everybody has to just —"

"Okay, pump the brakes, there, smart guy. How do you plan to get people to just?"

"Well, they should just —"

"Perhaps, but how are you going to get them to just?"

"They should!"

"They will not. They will not just. Never in the history of humanity have they just. They did not just in antiquity, they did not just in the Bronze Age or in the Iron Age.

"The Egyptians did not just, the Hittites did not just, Romans did not just, nor did the Chinese. The Ostrogoths, the Visigoths, the Vandals, and the Huns were united solely in that they did not just.

"Europe did not just in the Dark Ages. The Mongols did not just, nor did the Bulgars or the Cossacks or the Turks.

"The Muslims have never just. The Plantagenets did not just, or the Tudors. Nor did the Royal House of WIndsor. The Spanish did not just in the New World, or the Dutch, or the English, and the natives did not just, either.

"Thomas Paine did not just, and no one just on Punkatasset Hill, nor did they just at Miriam's Corner.

"Napolean did not just at Austerlitz and Wellington did not just at Waterloo. And the Tsars have never just.

"The South did not just, before or after the Civil War, and the North did not just, either.

"South America has never just at any point in its history, nor has Africa in its lack thereof.

"The Memsheviks and the Bolsheviks and the Marxist-Leninists and the Stalinists and the Maoists and the practitioners of People's Glorious Revolutionary Juche Idea said they would just, but they never did. Pol Pot did not just when he was executing people for wearing glasses or not having a husband, and Sendero Luminoso never just because they were too busy boiling children alive.

"Otto von Bismarck and the Second Reich did not just, the Third Reich did not just, either, and after that, the Jews certainly weren't going to just, not that they ever did.

"Some Americans wanted to just, but they didn't, because they couldn't, because only a few of them wanted to, and so even the ones who wanted to had to stop.

"The Chinese will not just, the Russians will not just, the Americans will not just, the Martian colonists and Belters of the 22nd century will not just, either.

"Genetically engineered post-humans will not just, Artificial Intelligences will not just, and the Ascended Hive Consciousness of Conjoined Minds at the center of the Lesser Magellanic Cloud will not just, no matter how much they manipulate time and space the way we shape plastic and steel.

"No one will just, perhaps ever again.

"Why? Because it is suicidal to just unless everyone just, and they will not. Don't you get it?"

"Well, I can see you want, because you are a —"

"No you can't see what I want! We are not discussing what I want! I want Helen of Troy to return from antiquity in all of her radiant and legendary beauty, and give me a foot massage! I want Jesus, Moses, Mohammad, Siddhartha Gautama, and Elvis Presley to visit Los Angeles in a flying pink Cadillac and announce to the world once and for all if god is real, and if so, which one, and what he, she, or it wants from us.

"It does not matter what I want! I am not the God Emperor of Mankind, with teeming billions of soul desperately eager to hear my slightest whim so they can work to make it real!

"It does not matter if I am a, because we are not talking about what I want. I am telling you FACTS. This is what will and will not happen, regardless of whether or not everyone should, or whether or not I am a, or whether or not it would nice if the moon was made of cheese!

"Don't you get it? If you want people to just, you need a plan to incentivize them to just, and it has to be something that has NEVER, NOT ONCE, in the history of the world, ever been tried before, because every single thing anyone has ever tried in order to get people to just has failed!

"So what do you have? What is your brilliant scheme, how are you going to get everyone in the world, everywhere, every single living thing to agree to simultaneously just?"

"I'm going to write a comment. Telling them they should. On Twitter."

"Oh, will you? How nice."

"It's going to be three whole sentences."

[Erich @nicereiss]

@jonathleeJ @HumanProbably2 @4nt1p4tt3rn There's a big difference between "manager who came up the accountant career path" and an accountant. People are blaming accountants for financial decisions made by executives which is wild.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@HumanProbably2 @4nt1p4tt3rn I'm convinced a lot of y'all don't know what accountants are.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@BenRushpa @rayblast_xr @ThrillaRilla369 This is a clear sign that tipping culture has gone too far if 18% makes you a POS. It used to be that 18% was the highest that a receipt would even suggest.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@Apalladino8912 @jagibbs_23 I don't see him out producing Chase or Jefferson here 🤔

[Erich @nicereiss]

@MossyCloomp @ShitpostGate That's the "single forever" path

[Erich @nicereiss]

@andyholloway 17 would be my guess. Type of guy you'll be happy to have on your team but unhappy if you spent high draft capital.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@Pretty_Things10 @RamsBrothers @JNay_LSS You really think you said something here huh

[Erich @nicereiss]

@elgamer00727 @NOYK1847 @HarmlessYardDog Never said it was. Korean food isn't only kimchi, either. I've had lots of great food originating from both countries. I just like Korean food a bit more.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@NOYK1847 @HarmlessYardDog You're right but Mexican food also beats most other food.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@PukaMuse17 I love all three but it's Aaron Donald. Best DT in history.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@Just2fllwppl As a Rams fan, I don't care about this matchup at all. As a father whose son likes the Chiefs, go Kansas City!

[Erich @nicereiss]

@andyholloway Hope your tooth situation is feeling better.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@Murabirb @alsonamedjosh That was mine. I got it from a walking challenge on The Conqueror app. Comes with a cool medal of the Shire.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@datavizuals @DaveKluge More pass-heavy system? Fields threw 318 times in 15 games. Mariota threw 300 times in 13 games. Ridder threw 115 times in 4 games.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@alsonamedjosh My first ever MTG deck was a janky vampire deck with this guy as my biggest bomb.

[Erich @nicereiss]

@alsonamedjosh I found the time by not playing Zelda, Jedi Survivor, or Diablo IV 🎓

[Erich @nicereiss]

@Stolen42 @bmkibler @JoINrbs Nobody said "high moral ground"

[Erich @nicereiss]

@lsv @Aspiringspike House plumbing is a real easy way to lose a couple of grand out of nowhere. For me, it was roots growing through my main line.

[SpaceGhostForce @SpaceGhostForce]

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