Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary

Give me an army of Andrew Tates and I will rule the world! Daily scheming and minutiae of a sitting MP. Parody. Man of the people. 'O' level metalwork.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@reformexposed We thought we'd call them 'Street Security' or The SS for short.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@justdavenow89 If anyone knows who this rumbustious young buck is, please let me know - he'll make an excellent Sports/Culture Minister in my new Cabinet.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@reformexposed Petty-minded St Helens Council has withdrawn funding for Refugee Week. I just signed a @theactionnet petition: Reinstate refugee week funding . Sign here: https://t.co/rP2rL1z9ik

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@dkstadium @Parody_PM The tautology in her sentence makes the tweet ambiguous. Aside from it's nastiness, it's clumsily written and open to misinterpretation. This is why we at Reform love her so much.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@Dougordon1999 @onemoreday1966 @narindertweets It's quite unnecessary to use such hateful language. By citing Powell, who was roundly condemned at the time for this speech, you show a great fear, and a vulnerability to manipulation by people with nefarious aims. It does seem to be a feature of racists/misogynists/homophobes.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@Dougordon1999 @onemoreday1966 @narindertweets Tbf your reply to @narindertweets is not really demonstrating the good old British qualities of tolerance, compassion, and fairness Douglas. My advice would be to run away from confrontation, just as I did yesterday when I was about to have my arse kicked by a strong woman!

[Full Fact @FullFact]

Yesterday we published a fact check about an incorrect claim made by Conservative MP Esther McVey about knife crime in London.

We're grateful to the Express for correcting Ms McVey's article after contact from Full Fact.
https://t.co/nOgIihkMNw

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@darrengrimes And you got to say "willies" on Radio 4! So proud of you xx.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@Arron_banks Steady on old boy. Lots of Reform UK's candidates are these same ex-tories.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

Always knew he was as dense as a block of osmium, but we still love him here at Reform. Dicky darling, remember what happened last October, when we moved the big hand on the clock back an hour? It took you 5 hours to understand, but it seems you've forgotten how it works. See me!

[Richard Tice MP 🇬🇧 @TiceRichard]

PLEASE REMEMBER

The clocks go forward an hour this Sunday, which means we will have one less hour of Labour ruining our country 💥

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@PDRNHPUK Oh stop it! I'm beginning to think I'm the second coming, spreading crypto-currency among my adoring throng (at a very competitive rate). To celebrate victory in May I shall be borrowing a donkey off the seafront in Clacton, and riding it through the palm-strewn streets.

[Reform UK Exposed 🇬🇧 @reformexposed]

Reform UK knew its candidates had supported far right influencers, spread Covid-19 conspiracies, and made ableist slurs. The party selected them again.

https://t.co/HNUg2TAs0F

[Reform UK Exposed 🇬🇧 @reformexposed]

Yeah, @Nigel_Farage wouldn’t want this video to be shared over and over of him lavishing poodle-like praise on Donald Trump.

He’s trying to disassociate from him, so every time it’s shared it ruins that.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

Malcolm Offord has dismissed criticisms of these candidates by saying that "real people say real things", the inference being that Green Party candidates are not real people. What he is really saying is that our candidates are racist people who say racist things.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

If you are a racist, then you'll love our up-and-coming candidates in Scotland: Stuart Niven, struck off as a company director for purloining covid grants; Linda Holt, who called Scots First Minister a grandstanding Islamist moron; Senga Beresford, who endorses Tommy Robinson.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@ChrisWrightson6 Just to correct you there. It's my bank balance first.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

Can't believe my old mucker Andrew (Neil) says GB News should just be called Reform TV. Cheek of the man. Hope you'll all tune in to GB News soon to find out what Lee, Dicky, Sarah, Anne, Claire, and yours truly think about all this.

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@OperaSocialist When I told her to channel her inner Ken Dodd, I thought I was giving her the same tips on tax avoidance as I'd previously given to Tricky Dicky. I didn't expect her to mess her hair up and start doing a stand-up routine!

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@TiceRichard Thanks Dicky. I was singing about this earlier: "We're only making plans for Nigel. We only want what's best for him. We're only making plans for Nigel. He has his future in a British steel. And if young Nigel thinks he's happy, he must be happy....." (with apologies to XTC).

[Nigel Farage's (Spoof) Diary @nigel_spoof]

@DaveKent101 @Nigel_Farage Don't worry Dave - your Black Lace and Cheeky Girls records are safe with me.