The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.
And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.
Here is what they are discovering:
Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.
Then they found the grocery stores.
Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.
The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.
They finally understand why we do not have trains.
We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.
Why would we need trains.
The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.
Welcome to America!
The greatest country on earth.
We use the word retard to describe people acting retarded— like advocating for the systemic murder of babies with disabilities.
You use the word retard to describe the babies you want systemically murdered.
No we are not the same. Yes your use is worse. Hope this helps.
@TexasTribune Good. These kids are victims of mentally deranged adults. The providers who cut these kids should lose their licenses and their freedoms.
🚨 LMFAO!! Democrat Rep. Dan Goldman is FUMING as he walks outside a "mega master" immigration hearing, where the Trump admin is SURGING through illegal aliens' cases so they may be deported
GOLDMAN: "They are essentially having an assembly line...as many as 100 people! Just rolling people through, it's disgraceful!" 😂
The Trump admin recently hired over 80 IMMIGRATION JUDGES 🔥
Immigration judges are in the EXECUTIVE branch. Trump can do as he pleases.
Send them back!
@coffee_oil Remind her that if her family has an emergency, the ambulance will have to go slowly over the speed bumps to get to her house. Speedbumps impede emergency services.
@EDSecMcMahon WFP will not deliver more jobs. The program is being designed to include only college credit programs. Workforce programs wont actually qualify for Workforce Pell bc academic elites wrote the rules. This is smoke and mirrors.