Candi(ce) 🕊

just ask me the plant question it’s ok. she/her. burn it all down.

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

Ladies!! R u every driving and there’s some guy being a dick? Too scared to flip them off?? Just do this instead! From experience: they hate it

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

U kno how people reach out to their old high school teachers to say they miss them? Had the sudden urge to do the opposite

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

@car_vaune_a Still think he’s the best Chris

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

A bartenders at my job has a playlist to get people to leave and this is one of the songs

[culture @notgwendalupe]

19 year ago, jojo released 'leave (get out)'

[Hollywood Deals @LocalDingus]

they’re charging me with manslaughter Lemon

[GL @gldivittorio]

“Don’t ask friends for help moving as an adult” “don’t ask friends to do a potluck as an adult” you can literally ask me to hold your hand at the dentist and I will do it

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

If you tip me more because you think I’m hot that’s your fault

[Russ McSpadden @PeccaryNotPig]

This coyote sitting on a car tho

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

A real resolution I wanna try is to get back into reading

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

The way a single picture taken by a family member can wipe away months of good selfies

[wint @dril]

call my posts " ASPARTAME" because they are giving anxiety to Rats

[brittle bones 🇵🇸 @flatgel]

if my gf was a worm i’m using her to catch a state record largemouth bass as a way to honor her

[❀ eilidh ❀ @shriiines]

have 2 say btw one of the worst things about being an adult is having to go to the fucken shop. it is relentless. you always need to get something from the shop. every day I am in the shop.

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

Unironically going to see Barbie and then Oppenheimer back to back

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

Took care of my health insurance everybody clap

[wint @dril]

in real life yoda would get eaten by a dog

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

My coworker’s 9yo daughter’s favorite karaoke song is Creep by Radiohead

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

#NewProfilePic

[tyler woodward @tyler02020202]

what is a cover letter. why can’t i just work in a coal mine and die at 45

[Candi(ce) 🕊 @notmaeby]

Last night a table saw me do a crazy eye roll about someone else COMMENTED on it then left me $25 cash on top of the autograd and if that’s now how you’re gonna be don’t go out to eat