Skadooosh

[Richie Richard @ImpactMovie]

@MalcolmNance @sentdefender This is quite the juxtaposition.

The nuclear football and the presidential diaper bag lol. The two most important bags in the world!

[Sanne Grabow🟧🟦Demos Kratos:Rule by the people! @SilkeOgLiva]

Now we’re talking..

[Sarrah Bellus @sarrah_bellus]

THIS is TRUTH SOCIAL!!!😂

[Lizzie K. Foley @LizzieKFoley]

I'm just going to point out that @CongressmanKean took approximately 644 hours of paid sick leave. He voted against giving his constituents 40.

[Marco Foster @MarcoFoster_]

Sheryl Crow speaks out after Trump’s UFC 250 event: “To stay quiet means to turn a blind eye. And so I am saying this. What happened last night on the lawn of the White House was disgraceful and void of decency. Powerful, rich people filled the lawn to watch a violent sport that ended with a vile and racist comment. All while the average American cannot afford healthcare, gas, and cost of living. Do not be fooled. This administration is corrupt and does not give a damn about the American people. It only cares about making money hand over fist at the expense and in spite of our democracy. If we continue to support this kind of distraction from reality, we are no better than them. Let's be better, America.”

[NYTPitchbot @DougJBalloon]

We wanted to understand what’s happening with the Strait of Hormuz. So we talked to five raw milk drinkers at an emergency room in Idaho.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

As President, I would read 10 letters a day sent to me by ordinary Americans. At the Obama Presidential Center, we’ll have some of the letters I read — and responded to — every night. I still get emotional reading them, and it’s one of my favorite exhibits.

[BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ @mmpadellan]

I learned that the word "dumb" had a "B" when I was 7 years old.

Why does this clown insist "most people don't know," when it's just his DUMB ass who didn't know?

[Glenn Tunes @glenn_tunes]

ABSOLUTELY FUCKING REPULSIVE THAT PETE HEGSETH REMOVED COLIN POWELLS NAME FROM A LIST OF NOTABLE AMERICANS BURIED AT ARLINGTON CEMETERY 🤬 HE ALSO REMOVED THE NAMES OF EVERY PERSON OF COLOR AND EVERY SINGLE WOMAN ON THE SAME LIST 🤬ONLY WHITE MEN WERE LEFT IN PLACE 🤬

SO PLEASE TELL US ONE MORE TIME HOW THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION RESPECTS AMERICAS FALLEN HEROES 🤬

[David Frum @davidfrum]

Anchor event from the celebration of the 250th anniversary of the Declaration of Independence, Washington DC, men punching each other in the face on the White House lawn. Onward and upward!

[Craig Rozniecki @CraigRozniecki]

The Top Ten Standout Features/Differences in the new T1 Trump Mobile Phone
10. Call-waiting isn't an option. If you receive a second call, and take it, the first caller receives the message, "You're fired."

9. The highest the battery can be charged is 45%.

8. The slogan will be, "Make America Great Again, Made in China."

7. The phones are designed to fit Trump's hands, so they're for ages 3-6.

6. It always blames others for glitches.

5. In order to use speaker, one must sign an NDA.

4. It prefers younger models.

3. If a woman aborts from a group-chat she was forced into, she will be imprisoned.

2. The ringtone is set to Trump repeatedly saying, "I love the poorly educated."

1. (drumroll) The voicemail will automatically say, "You've reached the stable genius. I'm probably home, but don't know how to work this stupid thing. Technology is so dumb sometimes. I know more about technology than the Amish do, believe me. I once dated an Amish girl. Amy. Amish Amy. Nice girl, but I could never get a hold of her. I... :: beep ::"

[Matthew Segal @segalmr]

CLIENT: These federal charges seem serious. What kind of sentence could I get?

LAWYER: Depending on the next presidential election, you're looking at somewhere between life imprisonment and becoming a millionaire.

[Brad @BraddrofliT]

Imagine living in a country where Epstein’s victims get ignored while January 6 rioters line up for payouts.

A functioning society compensates victims. A broken one rewards insurrectionists.

Thats how f**ked up this administration is.

[The Lincoln Project @ProjectLincoln]

What are the odds all 9 of those people are in this room?

[Rushi @rushicrypto]

The funniest part about the Trump phone is that he could launch the 2nd Gen Trump phone pre-orders today and all of these dumb fucks would give him another $100.

[Travis Akers 🇺🇸 @travisakers]

Great news! Congress is proposing a bill for public school teachers that will mandate starting base salaries of $60,000, plus a $50,000 signing bonus, overtime pay of 25% of their base salary, and student loan forgiveness of up to $60,000!

Just kidding. That’s the federally mandated compensation package for an ICE agent.

- BP Sweany

[Richard Angwin @RichardAngwin]

there's a burn, then there's an AOC burn

[Toad @LearnToToad]

White smoke emerges from White House as Trump declares himself the new Pope

[George Conway ⚖️🇺🇸 @gtconway3d]

A+++++ tweet