ntguido31

I'm Italian, obese, and I live in a shithole called NT:
Bongs, Thongs, and DMB songs

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Happy siblings day! love you lizzie boo and maddie poo. Celebrate we will cause life is sweet but short for certain. Ha Dave! Erryone come thru- Bong Rips and Touchn Tips on locust tn!!!!

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

THIS IS BULLSHIT!!! Me and Biff just got kicked out of LA Fitness for doing a normal workout. We did the same workout Grandpa Raviolli did with his friend Mussolini in the old country. It’s where you cover your self in pasta sauce and slap a salami against your ass 500 times

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Why god why? Millard Fillmore Hospital stole the life of our precious BIFF today. He experienced complications during his cock removal surgery and bled to death. RIP my sweet italian boy

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Biff better give me that birthday sex tonight. He's such a prude but he owes me after I saved his life by removing that sausage from his ass

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

No one thought a 800 lb greasy Italian with a 1 inch dick would make it but I'm here to say I do and I still will fuck any food or animal

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Can't believe I made it to 27. This is the longest anyone in my family has made it since grandma pepperoni lived to be 32

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

@ntguido31 we go to BK and dumpster dive for any half eaten burgers and then have sex with the stray cats we find in the alley behind Arby's

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Can't wait to celebrate my bday tonight. We still celebrate like Grandpa Giuseppe did back in the old country

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Two hours in an no awards for joe Pesci? This is fucking astonishing. Going to put my 800 pound dick in a blender if Pesci doesn't win.

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

I'm so horny. Please God send me a woman I am sick and tired of fucking my dog

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

.@ThatJeanShop your product is trash. Why don't you have jeans for a size 75 waist. I only use your jeans to clean up my jizz

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

.@iamjojo hey boo boo. My thang aka my girth you Italian piece has been asking about. Come to NT

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Grandpa Ravioli died today. He's was 208. He died a virgin so in respect Biff will suck his cock at the funeral

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

.@zaynmalik you're such a phony it's insane. If you ever show up to NT I'll fuck you. Not fuck you up but actually fuck you. My p in your a

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

Been so horny lately. Biff is prude so I haven't gotten any ass in awhile and the women in NT are disgusting. About to jack it at Arby's

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

.@tide I need to get my jizz out of my cousin biffs jeans please advise...asking for a friend

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

.@PardonMyTake when you nut but she keep suckin

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

.@MikePosner nice try u fuck.u took my song 'i took an antacid in NT' & turned it into a mega hit 'i took a pill in ibiza' i want royalties

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

@SenSanders you're getting my vote because I heard you're hung pls send me a pic I need some new jerk material pls make beastiality legal

[ntguido31 @ntguido31]

St. Patrick's day always makes me so horny. Every year biff slaps my ass with corn beef then I jerk it to lucky charms commercials