Joan Villarreal

Good things come to those who wait... Better things come to those who don't give up... and the best things come to those who believe.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

I look at my best friend & think: Why the hell do I love this crazy person?

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

Married men live longer than single men, but they're a lot more willing to die.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

That son of a bitch moment when you're walking around the house with socks on and you step on a random wet spot.

[Silvia Siems @kruglyanov]

You give me respect, I return respect.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

Me: "Dad, how does it feel having an awesome son?" Dad: "I don't know, ask your grandpa."

[Gladys Rey @rushanmatyushe1]

Be careful who you trust, some people want to know your business just to tell your business.

[Tanya Allen @ry_suftinaa]

So I'm told if you post a secret on your Google Plus page or Second page on the Google Search...it's still a secret.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

Don't place your happiness in someone else hand, because once they're gone, so is your happiness.

[Lori Resch @BenidzeVip]

Still Finding Nemo...

[Celeste Doi @nnurkova1]

Bitch please, your vagina has more users than Facebook.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

That awkward moment when someone takes your sarcasm seriously.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

Have you ever read a book by Shakespeare? No only by candlelight.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

Grammar is important. For instance, commas save lives: Let's eat grandpa. Lets eat, grandpa.

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

I wish my money would have sex in my wallet and multiply.

[Janine Batson @skorobach1997]

I ran into my ex the other day, hit reverse, and ran into him again.

[Sally Bowen @93Vseslava]

Best time to sleep: 10% When you're tired. 90% After you wake up .

[Heather Nelson @KorzhinPolikarp]

He who laughs last, didn't get it.

[Molly Digirolamo @shedzl1]

Teacher:How old is your dad.Student:He is as old as I am. Teacher:How is it possible? Student:Because he became a dad only after I was born.

[Grace Lareau @90Marilov]

Me: "Dad, how does it feel having an awesome son?" Dad: "I don't know, ask your grandpa."

[Joan Villarreal @oizotchenko]

Why couldn't the ghost get a drink at the bar? They don't serve SPIRITS!