Old Scott Hayes

I'm Old

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

It was funny watching Pulp Fiction. What's the big deal about getting medieval when you have already been medieval? #ijustspelledmedieval

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

I demand full accountability from my workers. I just don't need to do that. No need! #suckers #notmyfault #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

Went to @arbys today. Lady said she was getting fresh curlies for me. Nobody has said my curlies were fresh for AGES. #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

@ThatDean_Guy Hey it only took about 20 seconds! Whippersnapper

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

@ThatDean_Guy You mean this thingy? #protectingtheoldballs #whatthehellarestripperaerobics

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

A date had me sit through 50 Shades of Gray. At first I thought she meant what I looked like after 10 Just for Men treatments. #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

So where's my Colt 45 Peacemaker, Single Action Army or whatever the hell you call it these days? #ImYourHuckleberry https://t.co/nxvJLEFNd0

[Lyon County, KS Sheriff @LyonCoKSSheriff]

#KSJobs LYON COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE has Openings for Deputy Sheriff! https://t.co/ol3097M1x7

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

You know what? After two hours at the nursing home, I feel like I got back into life. #oldballs #bingo

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

The last time I experienced creamy goodness I was churning butter. #oldballs #addmorecream

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

Why do I get this look from women my age? #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

Bet you thought I was dead. Nope. Just constipated. #oldballs #MetamucilDammit

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

On my way to Pratt for some softball coverage. Not even 20 miles out of town and i already Pratt my pants #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

All of these bench clearings in KC Royals games remind me of the time i saw Shoeless Joe and Ty Cobb fight in 1913 #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

Just got passed on the highway. By somebody old enough to be my mother. #leadfoot #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

SURPRISE!

Betcha thought I was dead. #NotQuiteYet #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

I can't even tell that it's a dress, let along what color it is. #oldballs #TheDress #OnlySeeInBlackandWhite

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

Ever Since they got rid of rotary phones things have just gone to hell. #oldballs #dialmeup

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

I'm improving my social media skills Or am I? What am I doing now? #thetwitter #faceplant #oldballs

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

1. Take pill.
2. Pop boner!
3. SNEEZE
4.???????
5. Change pants.
6. Repeat.
#oldballs
#olderwienerschnitzel

[Old Scott Hayes @oldscotthayes]

......................................................................................................... what was I gonna write? #oldballs