Shakes The Bartender

also puzzlemaker

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

Went to a birthday party in second grade and we got a choice between ice cream sandwiches and apples and I felt sorry for the apples and I was the only one who chose an apple and it was mealy and I got beat up.

-- Me, proposing

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says "Hey, why the long dick?"

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@whatisny We put the Dump back in...

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@NYTGames Welcome back, Will

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

so I guess that makes 333 the semi-christ

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

what's the record for most fell swoops is it still only one?

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

Latino dudes know my name is Boss exactly how?

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

Jesus be advertising all over the place no way that ain't daddy's money

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

bad enough having the last name Likely but Spam for a first name thanks mom and dad

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

792 followers, 1 wireless mouse. Here's how one man did it...

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@still_oppressed 66% of voters also want free booze. The public should dictate foreign policy?

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@TrudeauRoss was gonna boo, but not bad

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@TrudeauRoss matter of time...

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@CrookedJ73 @Super70sSports sproing?

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@davidharsanyi Making one's life easier is what's making everyone's life harder. Puff, pass.

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

Anyone know the record for most fell swoops?

[Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy]

I am a reasonable person in most areas except when it comes to pretending to enjoy chamomile tea.

[Shakes The Bartender @onestarbar]

@nerdlegame mascot = Algo

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

I’m hearing early fireworks, so I guess Kid Rock saw his shadow.

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

I knew Waluigi. You, sir, are no Waluigi.