Mycroft Holmes

I hold a minor position in the British Government. Rumors of being otherwise are strictly false. #Parody

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

"Truth is rarely pure, and never simple."

- Oscar Wilde

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

Miss me?

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

@SocioIntellect I am still around, here and there. Someone has to keep an eye on your ramblings on social media.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

I recall years ago I had hoped for a new plague. Who would have believed it would have come during my lifetime. What times we live in...

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

A poem about cake

I mustn’t really
What time is it?
Oh go on then
If you’re having some
Don’t give me too much
Just a sliver
No not that small
A little bit bigger
That’s it
Oh that’s far too big
I shall never eat all of that
I’ll give it a go, though
I’ll give it a go.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

@SocioIntellect I don't go on Twitter for years and I see that you are still obnoxiously immature about such trivial things...

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

@SocioIntellect That implies that you think I am fit and trim enough to crawl out of one in the first place. How very nice of you.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

@SocioIntellect I am glad I bring up pleasant thoughts, little brother. It makes my access to Twitter that much more... wholesome.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

Oh look, I can still log onto Twitter. Are you disappointed, dear @SocioIntellect?

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

Is it time for a new plague? I think it's time for a new plague.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

Merry belated Christmas, @Genius_Holmes. Having you off Twitter is making things difficult to keeps tabs on you.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

The Holidays are almost over with. Halfway to hell, but almost seeing the flames at the end of the tunnel...

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

@TheMummyHolmes You're making me eat your horrid fruit cakes. Tis the season of hell.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

Ah the Holiday Season is here, full of misery and dismay. #HorribleHolidays

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

The amount of idocracy I deal with on a daily basis is killing me. The pain is worse than any deadly disease. The disease of stupidity.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

Any new requests made to me from Sherlock are now to start with "Mother May I..."
I deem this as the new law of the land.

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

Did you miss me?
Glub glub, my goldfish.

[Sherlock Holmes @Genius_Holmes]

If any of you are wondering what Mycroft is up to..

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

I'm thinking of writing an autobiography. It'll include vivid details of my accomplishments and be titled "The True Queen of the World."

[Mycroft Holmes @op_iceman]

I've made a recent trip to my fridge to find disappointment. Vegetables. Only vegetables. Who does this to a poor man like myself?