@GodsgreatG No, these statistics do not map to Nigeria in the same way as the global picture. Nigeria has one of the highest maternal mortality rates in the world, which shifts the balance, making women more likely to die from pregnancy or childbirth complications than men are from work.
What does awkwardness look like? I met two colleagues. One is deaf and the other is an interpreter. I know sign language and so I don't need an interpreter, so all three of us use SL. No one speaks and we disperse. Next time I see one of them, I use sign language, she does too. I conclude that she is the deaf one and it becomes our thing to use SL. Imagine my shock when I see her having this loud conversation WITH HER MOUTH! While I'm picking up my jaw, my boss calls and I pick the call and she sees me😭. She is equally confused because this whole time, she thought I was deaf. We both realise what just happened and decide to laugh about; whole time we're using SL😂.
If your significant other is having a bad mental health day/week/whatever and you dont know how to help, just treat it as if they had the flu. Take care of them, get them their favourite snacks, cook their favourite dinner, put on their favourite movie, make them eat vitamins and
I grew up in a really rough neighbourhood. Like… rough.
As a 14-year-old boy, I once walked past a spot where there were intestine remains on the ground, because minutes earlier a rival cult group had shot and butchered someone there.
A few of my close friends were killed in gang wars too.
One is still in prison. Since his 19th birthday. We’re in our thirties now.
…but the closest I ever came to being in a gang was the day my uncle raised his voice at my dad, and I reached out to a friend to come over so we could carry the man into the bush.
LOL.
Anyhoos; I digress.
There was a clear pattern in that neighbourhood.
People grow up, someone gets pregnant at 17, they find a one-room apartment and “settle down”… then start living in poverty. Just like their parents before them.
One day, I went to a barbing salon and this guy was saying that if he made ONE MILLION naira, he would retire.
Like; stop working entirely and just ball.
He was DEAD serious. That money was a huge deal to him.
It is like how People their dad didn’t own cars took a longer time to buy one when compared to people that had parents that owned cars
…the only reason I broke off from that mental prison was because my dad (a teacher) had a LOT of books. I read them. I saw a world beyond that neighbourhood. And I knew I had to escape.
But as I grew older, I realized something uncomfortable:
You don’t entirely break off from a background like that.
Coming from that kind of place means that very basic things are celebrated as success.
Like: Cooking frequently with chicken. Drinking conc tea. Buying an old, third-hand car.
The bar for “making it” was terribly low. It was: Live in a flat. Drive a second hand old model of Toyota Camry. Eat chicken regularly.
And people will assume you did well for yourself. Even you will assume you are doing well, and so you'd relax - and that becomes your comfort zone beyond which you can't break from:
Now, of course, even in environments like that, a few people want way more.
I remember the first time I told my friends I was going to make a million naira; at a time when a Toyota Camry cost ₦1.4M and I was still a school teacher.
They didn’t believe me. Heck; I didn’t believe me either. Which is why I’m writing this.
When you come from a neighbourhood like mine - where all you see is struggle; you develop what I call crippling disbelief.
You’ll say: “I will be rich.” But deep down, you do not believe it.
And because you don’t believe it, you don’t truly work toward it.
And because you don’t truly work toward it… you don’t become rich.
Why?
Because the nervous system only moves along familiar paths.
This is why I laugh when someone says: “I will make 100M,” when they have never made 5M.
Your subconscious does not believe you. That’s why you work so hard, struggle so much, yet never unlock that income level; because you’re not actually working toward that goal.
You’re playing at survival.
True belief comes from momentum.
This is why I always say: The path to riches is finding a way to make ₦30,000 profit per product, selling 2–9 pieces of that product every single day.
That creates a reference point in your mind.
And once your mind has a reference, belief is forced.
When belief is forced, execution becomes natural.
And that’s how the ceiling breaks.
Since my dad passed, I’ve realised that grief is learning how to carry love forward when the person you gave it to is no longer here. Some days that weight is heavy. Some days it’s gentle. Every day, it’s real.
@BolanleCole Married men need to stop asking their wives to ask their ex's for money. It's disrespectful to your wife and the marriage. This is so widespread nobody is even shocked anymore.
@livin_omanga@mariahsudi Easily...when I take mine on my proper walks, they avoid me for days after. If I get my walking shoes out, they go into hiding 😂
Raising kids goes beyond just financial commitment. It’s even beyond the emotional and psychological aspects. It requires a lot of sacrifice, especially the sacrifice of availability.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve had to reschedule plans because of my kids. At some point, all my annual leave became childcare leave. Even in Nigeria, raising children isn’t what it was 20 years ago. Life is faster, demands are heavier, and support systems are thinner.
After witnessing my wife go through labour and the toll it took on her, I was genuinely content with one child. I had seen enough. She had to convince me for us to have a second, largely because I couldn’t reconcile what she went through the first time with the idea of repeating it.
And as my children grow, I’m constantly discovering layers of parenting I didn’t even know existed. The questions, the emotions, the need for presence. Not just being around, but being available mentally, emotionally, physically.
Parenting isn’t about how many children you can afford financially. They are people not commodities. It lies a lot on how much of yourself you can give without resentment. Because children don’t just need provision; they need presence. And every additional child stretches that resource even further.
Parenting is not a competition or a badge of honour. It’s a daily decision to show up, to sacrifice comfort, time, and sometimes ambition, for human beings who didn’t ask to be here but depend on you completely.
And until someone understands that weight, they may never truly grasp what it means to raise a child. I want to be able to say I gave my all in raising my kids not just making up the numbers in society.
@Blopdl@General_Somto Minimum wage for a 16year old is £7.55PH and then it goes up by age. Hope you reported the thieving family to the police. It's disgusting that her mother taught her such bad behaviour.
DO NOT MAKE LIFE DECISIONS BASED ON YOUR BOYFRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND. Do not stay close to home for them, do not skip opportunities for them, do not pick a university that's close for them. They not the world! Grow yourself, expand your horizons.