might delete idk but
it's the "everyone wants to save the world but no one wants to help mom do the dishes" thing to me. they want to be hero of the day saving women in dark streets but never tackle the everyday things/ppl (incl themselves) contributing to rape culture
Imagine my hg just wanting to tell me about her day and wanting to decompress and anytime she says something I "don't like" I feel the need to correct or adjust how she feels.
I know the art of shutting tf up because I respect my friends enough to grow on their own terms and own time. Everyone doesn't need a speech. Social media got yall thinking everything needs to be checked and peer reviewed and it doesn't.
''oh the kids will be outside more! they'll go outside!!' babes a teenage girl was stabbed in the throat walking home not even a week ago. theres a rape in the headlines every other day. it is literally NOT SAFE out there!!! are you mental!!
@franwrld999 Exactly. It’s because social medias conditioned so many people to think death and making fun of death is funny and ‘dissing dead homies or people’ is seen as hard and tough. But it’s just comes off as attention starved and performative. Farmijng engagment from death. 🤦♂️
god everybody is so anti-solidarity now. they want their pain to be unique and without comparison as if that makes their suffering special and virtuous. we are all so much more alike than we are different. it’s no wonder there’s a loneliness crisis, what an isolating way to live.
just saw my biggest rat piss on my smallest rat, so i got a paper towel to wipe her off and she ripped it out of my hand and started mauling the paper towel like a mongoose would maul a snake
Part 4. You're descended from survivors. In 1900, the average American died at 47, and one in every six infants didn't make it to their first birthday. The ancestors who got to be ancestors were the ones who didn't die young. You're only here because they made it.
This matters for the "ancestors didn't have anxiety" claim. Severe mental illness usually starts in your 20s and 30s. Schizophrenia peaks at 20, major depression at 21. Bipolar disorder, panic disorder, and PTSD usually start somewhere between 25 and 35. These are the ages your ancestors were dying of tuberculosis, dying in childbirth, or dying in a coal mine. Roughly one in a hundred women died giving birth, and most women gave birth many times.
Even now, with modern medicine, severe mental illness takes about 15 years off your life. A century ago, with no medicine at all, the math was unforgiving. The person who would today be a 38-year-old on antidepressants was a 38-year-old your great-great-grandparents had already buried.
Survival was the filter. Your great-great-grandparents' minds held up long enough, or their luck was good enough, or their environment was forgiving enough, to keep them alive in a world that killed most people young. The ones whose minds gave out first, who couldn't cope, who died young from causes the family preferred not to discuss, are not in your family album.
This is what statisticians call survivorship bias. Aircraft engineers in World War II saw bullet holes in returning bombers and proposed reinforcing those spots. A statistician named Abraham Wald told them to reinforce the places without holes, because the planes that took hits there never came back. The data on "tough ancestors" has the same shape. The ones who didn't come back don't appear in the dataset.
Life expectancy in the US crossed 70 in the late 1960s. Diagnoses of anxiety and depression rose afterward, partly because people were finally living long enough to have these conditions for thirty years. Tuberculosis used to kill people in their 30s, and modern medicine lets the same person make it to 80, which means whatever was going to break in their mind has time to break.
The "tough ancestors" story confuses survival with strength. They were the winners of a brutal lottery, and the losers don't show up in your family tree.
Many of them didn't. Your great-great-grandmother was probably drinking opium for her nerves, sold at the corner shop as cheap as a pint of beer. It was called laudanum, a mix of opium and alcohol that doctors handed out for anxiety, sleeplessness, and "women's troubles." Mothers fed it to crying babies. The babies often stopped crying because they stopped breathing.
The men drank. By 1830 the average American was putting away almost two bottles of liquor a week. Whiskey cost less than coffee or milk. People started their day with a shot and ended it with another. Toddlers drank from their parents' rum mugs.
ADHD has a long paper trail. A Scottish doctor described kids who couldn't focus in 1798. By 1846 there was a popular German children's book about a boy called Fidgety Philipp who couldn't sit still. In 1902, a London children's doctor named George Still wrote a famous paper on the same kids and called it a "defect of moral control." Same kid, three different centuries.
Depression and anxiety had old names too. Melancholia, hysteria, the vapors. Treatments included bloodletting, ice baths, and chaining people to a wall. By 1937, American mental hospitals held 451,672 patients and took up more than half of every hospital bed in the country. Inside the walls, about 1 in 10 patients died each year.
Then came the lobotomy. Between 1949 and 1952, around 50,000 Americans were strapped to a chair while a doctor hammered an ice pick through the thin bone above their eye and wiggled it around inside their brain. It took about ten minutes. Sixty percent of the patients were women. About 1 in 20 died from the procedure. Many of the ones who lived came out with no personality left. The man who invented the procedure won a Nobel Prize.
Britain's male suicide rate hit 30.3 per 100,000 in 1905. The lowest rates ever recorded in British history are happening right now.
Plenty of our ancestors didn't make it. They drank themselves dead. They overdosed on shop-bought opium. They got locked in asylums and never came out. They had picks driven through their eye sockets. They killed themselves in numbers we don't see today. The conditions were always there. The treatments just used to be worse than the disease.
@UndeadCainine@1thousandfaces_ I went thru this exact thing. It helped to frame the compulsions as “they kept me safe at one point but now if I want to move forward, I need to adjust and find new avenues of safety”. It’s terrifying and easier said than done, but this framing helped me a lotttt