🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

Doctor: "Physically, your husband is as healthy as a horse."

My wife: "What about his mental health?"

Doctor: "Well......"

Me:

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

In Heaven, I wonder if God will keep all of the denominations separate, organized, and facing the same way like I do in my wallet.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@IamNSJ Pfffft, he's a Camaro guy...

But happy anniversary!

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@RalphiesShow @Braves_Jerseys I agree. The sample size is too small for this year, but the previous navy's were much better than the current ones.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@Braves_Jerseys *Goldilocks

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@Braves_Jerseys I think I'll go a little unconventional this evening.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@ChrchCurmudgeon Time to hire Hoke.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@IamNSJ @dunkindonuts Maybe after you get your donuts you can go somewhere to get a coffee to go with them!

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@IamNSJ You don't have to call Matt out publicly like that.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

Do you think that the photo of you that will be used on your funeral program has already been taken?

[フルフル @tokotoko4000]

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[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

I'm all for saving the rainforests, but I think prosthetic limbs are taking it too far.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@mbkp Considering the cost of prosthetics these days, it wouldn't be able to afford to anyway.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

For Christmas I'm thinking of buying my wife a prosthetic leg.

You know, as a stocking stuffer.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

Don't stop, be leavin': An introvert's journey

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

Has anyone considered the possibility of perpendicular universes?

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

Some of you are using Windows 11 and I'm already using Windows 95. How are you so far behind?

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@Naam_kafi_hai Alan Meyerholtz, Jr.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@lupinxart You read the books I bought? How??

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

@ParsonPeeves No she's not.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

Mrs. Peleg and I share everything. In fact, I love her so much that I let her use the teeth first when we eat.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

I ate two cookies at the Chinese restaurant before I realized it and now I'm afraid the fortunes canceled each other out.

[🇵‌🇪‌🇱‌🇪‌🇬‌ @OTPeleg]

One of the best things about eating in a restaurant is imagining how many people ate off of the same silverware that you are using.