r

whales are cool

[spongebobham2billion @spongebobhamtwo]

Using the phrase "I'm willing to bet my life on it" as a way of saying I'm like 60% sure

[scar @imfat]

I love saying “sounds good” at work when i couldn’t care less

[eliza | marineford ⚓ @stqrcharms]

imagine you're a really good fighter and then your boss forces you to become a giraffe. I'd be pissed

[Adam Booker @abooker17]

Just wait until you watch an entertaining one

[Ice @PrimeeIceman]

Introducing IraolaBall to the SenileA would be like when Humans discovered fire ffs😭😭😭😭

[David Patrikarakos @dpatrikarakos]

I've got a Tottenham shirt with Ndombele on it.

[Molly White @molly0xFFF]

wikipedia editors hard at work on the article about the titan submersible implosion

[Rob 🅼 @Im_RobM]

Time for Dubravka to step up #NUFC

[Andy Mitten @AndyMitten]

It's 2038. The two bidders for Man Utd are invited to make their firm and final, final 298th offers. Club captain, Kobbie Mainoo, 33, tells AI aggregators that fans deserve some clarity.

[Hard Drive @HardDriveMag]

New Safety Guidelines Advise Running Perpendicular to Godzilla

https://t.co/fQVYMS2hMI

[Andy Mitten @AndyMitten]

@IanDoyleSport I know for a fact that his parents are very proud that a child they raised became a professional footballer who has been successful in three countries and represents their country. And even prouder that he's a good person, father, son and husband.

[Adam Crafton @AdamCrafton_]

Watching Weghorst and Fred is just an endless routine of saying “WTF has he done there?” and then thinking “wow quite good didn’t expect him to do that there”

[r @oyveythisguy]

@Sport_Witness Least delusional Arsenal fan.

[BN @BanditNanna]

If Rashford wasn’t there who’s to say Akanji wouldn’t have just booted into his own goal as a protest against sportswashing.

[kev @TorqueOfTheToon]

This is hilarious!!!

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

Word of the day is ‘matutolypea’ [mah-tu-toh-lip-ee-ah]: extreme grumpiness in the morning.

From Latin and Greek, ‘suffering of the dawn’.

[Manchester United @ManUtd]

"He was a brilliant teacher. The greatest influence on my career." — Sir Bobby Charlton.

Today we're remembering the late, great Jimmy Murphy, who passed away on this day in 1989 ❤️

[Dubois @CFC_Dubois]

Tuchel’s strategy is to buy every single defender on the planet so our inconsistent forwards don’t play against the best defenders. This is 8D Chess.

[Alex Horne @AlexHorne]

Having the time of my life. #blessed