Slish Valez

"Does not have the attention to detail to manage bleach in this house." - My wife

[Will Maddux @MLBMetrics]

Angel Hernandez was probably the worst umpire of all time. But without him, we wouldn’t have this hilarious moment, and for that I will be forever grateful.

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

@Mr_FrazierKY @oliviakrauth "First amendment advocate" wants to make it illegal for professors to discuss "divisive concepts."

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

@Jshiesty29 @elonmusk please delete this

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

@SahilBloom No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
[...]
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

@SullyOmarr Have you considered that rather than being early you are simply wrong about its utility?

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

@johnarnold Amtrak piggybacking off freight rail lines because this country lost its will to fund public infrastructure decades ago is not an argument for “the market."

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

@FCamiade Good luck unloading your crypto

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

The Bengals’ secret to protecting Boomer Esiason? Anthony Munoz and seven guys who drive a Camaro and listen to Whitesnake.

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

Gonna head over to the airport and make a few calls on speakerphone, as one does.

[Ben Baby @Ben_Baby]

Joe Burrow on the idea of a championship window: “The window’s my whole career.”

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

@ClueHeywood The Waffle House in Gary, Indiana

[Xabi ✪ @FCB_Lad_]

This angle of Messi's goal shows you how ridiculous it was

https://t.co/6ENOnUPyVz

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

Live sports producers: I know people are excited to watch today's action, but before we get to that I need them to see the saddest fucking story we can find.

[Little Bubby Child @lilbubbychild]

My neighbor calls the po lice. A animated adventure.

[Clue Heywood @ClueHeywood]

Lots of people play Thriller or Ghostbusters for trick or treaters, I play Paul Simon’s Graceland because middle age comes for us all and it’s terrifying

[Far Out Magazine @FarOutMag]

🎥 Loretta Lynn & Jack White's stunning performance of 'Portland, Oregon' on The David Letterman Show

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

You’re not good at this. by @ReformedBroker https://t.co/cx28x7PoMe

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

Just stood in line behind someone at Starbucks who ordered a strawberry frappuccino with no strawberries. So I have to live the rest of my life knowing that person exists.

[Slish Valez @pajarosucio]

We’re pleased to interrupt you to thank our Plus Rewards Alliance Advantage Star Mileage Cabin Rewards Global Funfetti Terrific Timmy Members. Just when you think it’s safe to read again we’ll interrupt you to explain in the most pedantic way that you are indeed on an airplane.