The Sad Cowboy ™️

Smokin darts and breakin hearts

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

What would Sargent John Munch think of Flock cameras?

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

@SallieMae You suck

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

@bigpoopystinky @howdoimillyrock I went to Panda Express for lunch today

[Cody @CodysLab]

It’s occurred to me that since gold is a heavy metal like mercury it might also accumulate in tuna. I can’t find any information to back this hypothesis up but should be testable; getting a milligram of gold from 50lbs of fish would be a lot easier than getting the mercury. 🤔

[Dev-Artemis Animation @DevilArtemisX]

This might just be the greatest thing ever. Whoever made this, Bless your heart.

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

@hatrope HOLY SHIT

[Cyanide & Happiness @Explosm]

@omogonix NFT bros losing money is funnier than any of our comics.

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

@bigpoopystinky It's brilliant

[Grizzy @SoGrizzy]

So you’re telling me there’s 8 billion people on earth and I’m STILL going to bed with no cuddles??? This some bullshit

[Vsauce @tweetsauce]

You sleep in the same bed every night? Lmfaoo 🤣 your average velocity each day is ZERO 🤭🤮 #notgrinding #gotcha #tubasection

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

@hatrope 😘

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

I saw someone call someone else a walnut today on Twitter... My week has just improved exponentially

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

It's been a minute since I tweeted out an @finalstarmvn appreciation post, so here it is.

Keep up the great work

[The Sad Cowboy ™️ @PatDerrig500]

Lemurs are just shitty monkeys

[Gabe Villa @GabeVilla16]

Think imma just grow my hair out and apply for a modeling position at target. I wanna be that average person you see when you buy your $30 chinos

[Arizona DOT @ArizonaDOT]

O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
You just fell off my SUV
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
I lost you on Loop 303
O Christmas tree, O Christmas tree
What will I tell my family?

Don't be a Scrooge and secure your tree so you don't create a hazard! https://t.co/4Te1ZXbQOI