Patrick Murray

Stand Up comic based in Indianapolis.
Album:

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

She's a 10, but she likes @EricClapton

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

@lilhornsby008 No problem

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

@Williamthefour Dude same!

[John Hinckley @JohnHinckley20]

Stay focused on what makes you happy. For me, it is my music and art.

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

White dudes with neck beards and glasses should be put on a watchlist when they buy a trench coat.

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

If you don't mix @BunBTrillOG Orange Soda with lean you're a snitch.

[John Hinckley @JohnHinckley20]

Don’t forget I have 27 songs of mine on Spotify, iTunes, Pandora, Apple Music, Amazon Music and the rest of the music streaming sites. They are studio quality recordings. You can see me sing the songs on my YouTube channel.

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

Everyone: "Pat, you need to stop doing so many lines."
Me: "Ok"
*Cuts cocaine into small circles*

[Riker Googling @RikerGoogling]

why do we say our passwords out loud now

[Riker Googling @RikerGoogling]

why universal translators use american accents

[Riker Googling @RikerGoogling]

can potential energy be converted into big dick energy

[Riker Googling @RikerGoogling]

planets with unicorns

[Riker Googling @RikerGoogling]

what happens when kirby inhales a starship

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

@Hoskh That was me! Thanks for coming!

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

@KidRock cheesecake or bumpy cake?

[Riker Googling @RikerGoogling]

is ejecting the core littering

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

@kinggizzard is the best.

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

Celibate dating is dumb. Why get emotionally invested in someone you're not dumping in?
You know what they say: "you wouldn't buy a car without fucking it first."

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

#KillEmAll is my second favorite @Megadeth album.

[Patrick Murray @patmurraycomedy]

@KellyCollette N
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