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Man-Ray’s BIGGEST fan | NIGERIAN MEN DO NOT INTERACT

[🇵🇸🔆 @pearice3]

u either ate down or you were ate up

[Mitsu @mitsutakak]

ローカルタコス屋へ！
Tacos de cabeza美味しかった！
牛の頭部の肉（主に頬肉）をじっくりと柔らかく蒸し煮やローストにし、トルティーヤに挟んで食べるメキシコ伝統のタコスだって！
いろんな種類のタコスも食べなくては！

[britto🕸️ @spyderhood]

Not sure why it’s called popcorn but it’s gas 🔥🇺🇸

[aIenka @ankyhaidy]

when something unlucky happens to your magical-thinking prone friend who is already unkind to themself and youre like fuuuck please don't internalise this

[alaska r.c.h. @145k4]

once in a poetry class i wrote &&&&&&& on a line by itself to act as "and" and also pictorially represwnt a thorny thick brush, ans after my professor asked me why i did that her eyes turned ice cold like she was going to strangle me

[syrian princess اشلي @LupeVirgilMom]

by thomas wykes. had me crying laughing

[Ross W Berman IV (Philosopher Pirate) @RossWBermanIV]

I've been watching James Bond movies and I've noticed that the sexual politics haven't aged well [my wife leaves the room] If James Bond was a car, he'd be the fastest one in the world.

[🇵🇸🔆 @pearice3]

@jonathanarn_ Invite me! I’ll rent it from my library

[Dexerto @Dexerto]

A pest control company has released a free dating sim where you romance anime bug boys, voiced by Attack on Titan's Eren Yeager

Every relationship ends with you using bug spray to kill your insect boyfriend

[cheyenne🆗️ @evilvillain1231]

Yet another Wikipedia paragraph with truly insane comedic timing

[Rosaria 'Mpreg' Stevens @shellsist]

guy with adhd saying 'id be so functional if i was medicated' and then they get meds and slowly realize that they are just genuinely a bit stupid

[Amanda Killian @eroscestlavie_x]

thinking about that Portlandia sketch where one of Fred Armesin's characters gets hit with a C&D from Matt Groening for bootlegging and Fred is like Whose law says I can't do this? That's not my law. My law is this. And points and and it's just a sign he made that says "BE TRUE"

[jennifer coolbitch @itsnotuptoRu]

farted really loudly in the staircase and it echoed and some lady downstairs said “oh my god???”

[Fugs 🇵🇸🇾🇪🇱🇧🔻 @FugeusRedux]

People who claim to be “at a very Chinese time in their life” when it comes to time to pay the bill at a big group meal

[shy fawkes @butterbooter]

the pigeon doesn’t understand your disdain for it; it coos for you anyway. the tree does not know you own an axe for it; its leaves sway in the sun anyway. the starving cat eats the poison you put out. it doesn’t know how not to trust. the earth forgives you, in spite of yourself

[🇵🇸🔆 @pearice3]

@xamdl4 she know ball

[🇵🇸🔆 @pearice3]

@anne1h3 it is sheer divine intervention that once ever my year I see a tweet like this