when something unlucky happens to your magical-thinking prone friend who is already unkind to themself and youre like fuuuck please don't internalise this
once in a poetry class i wrote &&&&&&& on a line by itself to act as "and" and also pictorially represwnt a thorny thick brush, ans after my professor asked me why i did that her eyes turned ice cold like she was going to strangle me
I've been watching James Bond movies and I've noticed that the sexual politics haven't aged well [my wife leaves the room] If James Bond was a car, he'd be the fastest one in the world.
A pest control company has released a free dating sim where you romance anime bug boys, voiced by Attack on Titan's Eren Yeager
Every relationship ends with you using bug spray to kill your insect boyfriend
thinking about that Portlandia sketch where one of Fred Armesin's characters gets hit with a C&D from Matt Groening for bootlegging and Fred is like Whose law says I can't do this? That's not my law. My law is this. And points and and it's just a sign he made that says "BE TRUE"
the pigeon doesn’t understand your disdain for it; it coos for you anyway. the tree does not know you own an axe for it; its leaves sway in the sun anyway. the starving cat eats the poison you put out. it doesn’t know how not to trust. the earth forgives you, in spite of yourself