Peter Dosen

Betting on serendipity and working for laughs. I play chess as well.

[Peter Dosen @peterdosen]

Trying out @theTunnelBear so I can browse privately from my ISP https://t.co/nV0PQ1dpWG

[Peter Dosen @peterdosen]

‘ma kdo (novejši) avto za posodit, da naredim tehnični?

[Russian Memes United @RussianMemesLtd]

I'll just go over there to people by the fire. What could possibly go wrong?

20000 years later

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

Her: Have you sold anything since you became a writer?

Me *stares around my empty house* everything

[Peter Dosen @peterdosen]

They mapped 150 superstitions around the world. https://t.co/MowgdxJzJi #jinx

[Peter Dosen @peterdosen]

finally! and welcome back :)

[Instapaper @instapaper]

Instapaper is now independent, and today we're relaunching Instapaper Premium and resuming service in the European Union https://t.co/eSUQ2ZPLgN

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

GIRLFRIEND: How am I gonna tell my dad I’m pregnant?

ME: Leave that to me.

[later, at dinner]

HER DAD: *grabs chest* I’m having a heart attack.

ME: Oh no! Grandpa’s ;) having a heart attack ;)

[The Pale Space Rider @truegritrumble]

KID: I drew you a picture!
ME: What's this?
KID: Our house.
ME: What's the orange stuff?
KID: Fire.
ME: Why's the house on fire?
KID: I want a PS4.

[Peter Dosen @peterdosen]

pleasing me on so many different levels. https://t.co/ZEp3wvX0bj

[X @XLNB]

Jeff Bezos is worth 150 billion while his Amazon workers are pissing in bottles because they’re so afraid to take a bathroom break & be fired.

There’s nothing here to celebrate. This is evil. And his accumulation of wealth exemplifies a broken system, not an exemplary one.

[your bff alex @psybermonkey]

Doctor: you have acute lymphoma

Me: you have a cute butt ;)

Doctor:

Me: :)

Doctor: thanks, I've been doing squats

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

[Moon landing]
Buzz Aldrin: Who's gonna go first?

Neil Armstrong: Well I'm gonna say one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind

Buzz Aldrin: I'm gonna say check me out on this giant space ball of cheese

Neil Armstrong: I'll go first

[Peter Dosen @peterdosen]

❤️#cro🇭🇷👏#10🐐

[Jen Gentleman 🌺 @JenMsft]

It finally happened 😱

[Mike Scollins @mikescollins]

When you're almost done picking teams in gym class.

[The Oatmeal @Oatmeal]

The internet, starting tomorrow.

[Peter Dosen @peterdosen]

@silver_kiwi Najs. Ko bos v ofis ofisu se javi, da spijemo kavo.

[Pentagram Design @pentagram]

"Who says that people looking to make more of themselves aren’t prepared to laugh at themselves? Who says they’re not prepared to find aspiration funny?" Naresh Ramchandani on why he thinks it’s time for brands to make us laugh again. https://t.co/7uimcxNouK

[Comrade Phteven @PhriendlyCody]

her: come over

me: i already took my ambien

her: my parents aren't home

me: