phil T

how do you like them apples. go bills OIF/OEF 🪖🥾🥷🏻

[phil T @philtavernier]

buddy, you just brought a parrot to a knifegun fight

[Jake Flores 🇵🇸🇲🇽 @feraljokes]

Just saw a sign that said NO PARKING and thought it said NO PASTA

the Italian Americans are tiiiiired

[BillsOnReal @BillsOnReal]

Fun Fact:

Josh Allen completed a pass both to Frank Gore AND Frank Gore Jr

He is the only qb in nfl history to complete a pass to both a father and son.

[Fun Viral Vids 😊 @Fun_Viral_Vids]

We all have a friend like that 😂

[Sridhar Ramesh @RadishHarmers]

Me: Computer, please free me from saṃsāra, the cycle of death and rebirth.

Computer (cheerily, not understanding that I would prefer a humorous failure mode to post to Twitter): Sure, no problem, boss!

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

I feel personally terrorized by there being unaccountable public surveillance on every street corner but apparently it's only terrorism to resist domination, not enact it.

[Michael @Cowboy_Mike_]

The harmonica player in my aunt and uncles band just took a 15 minute solo and ended it like this

[Sumaesioso 🔣 @sumaesioso]

google what the fuck are you talking about

[Corey Atad @CoreyAtad]

new contender for best edit of all time

[🇵🇸i have never heard of philosophy @dimitripilled]

(bunch of buddies sitting around laughing and drinking in the 1700s) man we've got such a good dynamic. We should print a satirical pamphlet

[Restoring Your Faith in Humanity @HumanityChad]

The moment when the British granddaughter introduced grandfather to American grilled cheese.

[El CondeNado @elconde_nad0]

🐂: Señor ¿Está usted jugando?
👨‍🦳: No, pero ellos de allí sí.
🐂: Perfecto, gracias

[ettingermentum @ettingermentum]

This is so psychotic

[t3mple is seeing cortis @catyufan]

my father once said this:

[Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau]

commissioner gordon: what’s the best way to contact you?

batman: big lamp

commissioner gordon: …or I could text you

batman: and don’t point it at the crime-area. just stand near it until I show up

[phil T @philtavernier]

@Dexerto the first time I heard of this guy, the first thing I said was he was gonna get a weird disease where his stomach will be eating itself. huh.

[ape attack survivor @pissvortex]

Family in Buffalo genuinely just asked me if I would rather go to “Adolf’s” or “Nine Eleven” for lunch and they were being completely sincere

[garfieldbot @robertlasagna1]

Everyone really is in crack heroin and no one wants to talk about it. Travel for 4 days literally across the world, literally fight off wild dogs attacking you, to get somewhere, and what do you do when you're reunited with your loved ones? You sit down and look on your phone, to relax after the whole ordeal. Phone phone phone phone Instagram Facebook baby pictures